3 Tears in a Lifetime
by Jedimaster1999
Summary: Is it possible to only shed three tears in a lifetime? Obi Wan Kenobi shed three tears in his life. One for his father. One for his Lover. And One for his brother. No slash!
1. Chapter 1

**First starwars story. I did a harry potter one, but this one will be longer. This is about my absolute favorite character ever. I hope you all enjoy it. Please comment! After seeing The Lawless my heart really went out to this character, he just went through to much and still remained On the light side, hope you enjoy. **

Is it possible to only shed three tears in a lifetime. Three...single tears. Jedi are not suppose to cry at all. Master yoda never cried nor did most of the jedi masters. Our emotions is what makes us human, sometimes to break down and cry is stronger than holding it all in. Obi Wan Kenobi shed three tears in his life. One for his father. One for his Lover. And One for his brother.

My hand sweaty hand held it tight. It's metal was cool and soothing, it had Qui Gon's presences sewn into it. I took a deep breath in and out, trying desperately get rid of my anger. A Jedi knows no anger or hate. But I wanted to hate, I wanted to hate the monster who I had just cut in half. I wanted to hate the animal who had just sunk into deep and everlasting darkness where he belongs. But I didn't, I couldn't, for my master. He would never want his last moments with me to be clouded with hate. I deactivated the lightsaber, and much like what was going to happen to my master's life, the green vibrant blade slipped away. I then was snapped back into reality by the sudden groan from my master. I ran over to him. My boots skidding to a stop next to his frail body. I saw the burning black hole that was in his stomach. His eyes managed to open as he looked up at me, they were green with a hint of grey. He was trying to say something but it seemed to be to painful to get a single word out. I knelt down next to him. His breath was shallow and his eyes were dimming. He said what I knew he would, regarding the boy...but I didn't seem to care at that point. I could feel my heart pounding as his was slowing. He managed to get enough strength to gentle brush my chin. I held his cold hand in mine. The man I spent my entire youth with, my mentor, my friend, my father was dying.

I couldn't respond to what he said. He talked of me having to train the boy, but all I could do in response was weakly nod my head. My heart ached for my dear master as he let out his final words. His eyes slowly dimmed and closed and I held his head close to mine. I couldn't comprehend anything. He couldn't be dead, he couldn't said my heart. But reality and the forced said he was. His cold lifeless body was limp and there was no more light and comforting feeling. Qui Gon was gone, his essences in the force and everything. I was alone in a dark cold room with no one but myself. For a long time I held on to him. I thought of my training days and my missions with Qui Gon. Those days were all over. With my masters head in my arms I wanted to sob. But only one single hot burning tear slid down my face. I will never forget the way that tear welled up in my eye as I looked at the still man before me. The way it blurred my vision was uncomfortable and I felt out of place and lost. I didn't wipe away the tear, for it represented my thoughts. I couldn't win easy these burning thoughts. As much as I just wanted to forget everything I saw, I couldn't. I couldn't forget those glaring yellow and red eyes. The eyes of evil, the eyes of hate. Those eyes found joy where I found pain. I won't forget his unsettling grin as his blood red blade sliced through my master. I won't forget my masters eyes widening with pain, and how he weakly collapsed on the ground. I won't forget my masters last words and how his last breath escaped his cold and broken body. I never did forget any of what happened that day, and that was only the start of it.

**Chapter 2 will be about the events that happened in The Lawless. Please comment, I'm a new writer so sorry if this was horrible. If you did enjoy it look for chapter two, and again please comment! :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Next chapter. This is the beginning of what happens on Mandalore. I wanted to make this part longer because I didn't feel we got enough emotions in that me short (but epic) episode. Please comment anod chapter 3 will be up soon. **

The dark room was cool, but I could sense much tension and anxiety in both the masters. This made me very worried, something must be very wrong if even grand master yoda is tense. I look at the hologram preparing for the worst, little did I know what events were going to take place. The transparent blue hologram form of the duchess of Mandalore pleads for help. Even through hologram I could see the worry and fear in her eyes. I put my hand over my mouth to try to hide my emotions from my masters, but surely they can sense it. My heart aches as she desperately calls my name. "I need your help" she says before she is surrounded my death watch members. I bite my lip, trying again to hide my emotions. I know what will happen. The republic and jedi will not assist Satine and her people. As predicted both master Yoda and Master Mundi say we can do nothing for the people of Mandalore, and my poor duchess.

I knew what I was going to do, I couldn't do anything else. I had to go rescue Satine, I couldn't live with myself if I didn't. Knowing the death watch, Satine will likely be tortured and killed brutally with no mercy. I couldn't let that happen to her.

It's late, most jedi are sound asleep. I try my best to control my anxiety about this situation as I creep through the temple. If let my emotions go wild jedi will likely sense that and I won't be able to save her. That was the only thing on my mind. Protect Her. Save Her. Keep her safe. Harm me death watch, torture me, kill me...just don't harm her. I feel my emotions braking heavier as I think this so I release these emotions into the force. Even after getting rid of those emotions I still can't stop thinking of her.

I get to the end of the dark hallway. I knock on the door quietly. The door opens up and I go in. "Did we really have to meet this late Master" Anakin said grumpily. "Yes Anakin, I'm sorry you had to stay up a little bit later than usual but this is very urgent." Anakin grunts and yawns tiredly. I must have let my emotions slip out a bit too much, and Anakin senses it. His face is serious now and concentrated. "What's wrong, your never this tense" he says worriedly. "Do you have a ship" I ask, trying not to let my emotions show in my voice. Sure enough when I spoke my voice was fast and tense. "Maybe, but first you need to tell me what's wrong. I have spent my whole life around you master...but you have never been this worried. Please...what's wrong" Anakin said. "Satine...she's lost control of Mandalore...I need to help her" was all I could reply. Anakin nodded and looked me in the eye. I saw sympathy in his eyes. He knew I had a relationship with her, and Anakin himself had trouble with relationships. I have known about Anakin's love from Padme ever since we went to save her from the assassination attempts. After that mission Anakin was never the same. I kept quiet. I knew what it was like so I didn't say anything.

Anakin lent me the Twilight. Personally I wasn't thrilled with the ships conditions but I was just so great full he helped me. I set out that night for Mandalore. Hold on my dear Satine, just hold on. I had on my armor I got while I was undercover a few months ago. Those were some tough times, but I knew these just might be harder. I had no idea what I was up against. I assumed it was Death Watch but Yoda always says to never assume anything. As I approach the planet of Mandalore I swallow hard. My dear, this is not going to be easy.

**I might do one or two more chapters on this and then move on to the last part. Please comment what other kinds of stories you want to see. **


	3. Chapter 3

**Alright I got my next chapter up! I think I'm going to do two more chapters on this event. Comment if you have any suggestions for upcoming chapters or stories. I am open to any suggestion for new Star Wars (and even Harry Potter) stories. So please comment and enjoy **

That broken up old ship barley got me to Mandalore. I was able to get a mandalorian armor from a man at the landing platform. The armor was red, which is unusual because the death watch armor I had seen was blue. The streets of the city were empty and the whole place seemed so dark. I sensed much evil all around me, but I couldn't exactly say where it was coming from. The evil sensations were so strong I couldn't match it with an exact individual. Maybe if I wasn't so worried about Satine I would have been able to. Thinking back I wish I did focus more. I wish I did do what a jedi was suppose to do. If I did tune in with the force completely I would have known about what evil was really behind this. I would have known before it was too late.

The prison was pretty bare. Almec and the others who were ruling must have either persuaded the other political leaders or killed them. I then found her. She was sitting, her hair down and uncombed. She had her back turned to the door and I could sense she was very scared for not just herself but her people. The force was with me, for through it I figured out the lock. She thought I was here to torment her, but once she realized it was me she sprang to her feet. All of a sudden I couldn't sense fear or pain in her, just love. She ran into my arms, so relieved to see me. I didn't show much emotions, but inside I so relieved to see she wasn't hurt. For a moment she just embraced me, her presences in the force was so pure, I could not sense a hint of darkness. I wanted to hold her close, embrace her too. Being a jedi I knew I shouldn't, but I wish I did. I will always wish I showed my love to her more. She knew I loved her, I knew I loved her, but I never showed it much.

We were able to get out and get on a speeder. I drove as fast as I could. I knew Whoever was ruling Mandalore would not be pleased with Satine escaping. She held on to me the whole way there. She was nervous, but I could also tell she felt secure around me. I remember while driving I told her "everything will be fine." I had never been so wrong in my life.

We got to the twilight. Some death watch had caught up to us and were shooting. I stayed in front of her, I shielded her from the blasts. We got on the the old bucket of bolts. There so many blasts, blasting the ship. Sparks flew and the ship had trouble taking off. We managed to get off the ground. For a few faithful moments I thought it would all be ok. I thought me and Satine would escape and Mandalore would be saved. It wasn't till the ship shook with such a violent force that I knew this battle wasn't over. Satine jolted with fear, I sat bewildered. I didn't know what was happening to the ship. I yelled out "Brace Yourself." The ship spun and soon fire and smoke began to consume the cockpit. I began to sense such an evil presence that is made my head spin. I ignored it and grabbed Satine's hand. Her hand was trembling with fear, I held it tighter to try to give her hope. "We need to get out of here" I said through the smoke and sparks. I opened up the ramp. She was too afraid but I went out. She yelled my name as I flew out, but I knew I was fine. She followed me and I grabbed her hand.

Even through the winds as strong as the force and the sparks of fire that occasionally burned my face I held on to her. I would never let go of her. It took all the strength in the world but I held on. Even with oil slipping down on my hand that held on to the ship, I still held on. My arms ached more than they ever have, burning pain was sent through my arms to my shoulders. I didn't care, I held on to her. My head spun, I sensed a dark presences . An overpowering darkness seemed to try to cloud my head. I felt hot sparks and smoke burned my eyes. The fast spinning of the destroyed ship made me dizzy, but I held on. I held on because I didn't focus on the horrible things that were going on. I blocked out the darkness, heat, dizziness, and pain. I focused on the force and on my love.

For a slight minute all I did was think of her. Of her strength, her hope, her love. Her love made me strong. I won't forget what it felt like to be loved, I will never forget her love. Her fragile life was in my hands, I was determined to hold on to it. But as the ship exploded and I leaped to the ground, we both fell. No matter how much I tried, she fell from me. In the end, I couldn't hold on to her. In the end she slipped away...forever.


	4. Chapter 4

**Alright this chapter is kinda sad, just FYI. Please do review and enjoy. I think I will do the next chapter tomorrow. Enjoy **

Fire and smoke was everywhere. I couldn't see through most the smoke. I think I hit my head after tumbling off the crashing twilight. I was able to focus on my love who was hidden under some burnt debris from the ship. Worry flooded me as I lifted the fiery parts off her. I was afraid she was burning alive under the hot metal. As I lifted it and saw she was not severely hurt I relaxed. My head still buzzed. My arms ached and I couldn't gain my balance. Darkness surrounded me, physically and mentally. Smoke was everywhere, I saw blurred figures come. I saw the rusty red death watch come. I closed my eyes. It's was as if me and my love were the only light things in the universe. Me and her were the only stars in the pitch black sky.

I opened my eyes, I saw a blood red shape coming towards me. Out of the dark smoke came a beast who was darker than the night sky with no stars. Horns glistening, yellow glaring eyes looked at me. I shook my head. I didn't want to believe it, but I had to. The beast who took the life out of my beloved master. The beast who's hate overpowered me so much, I couldn't focus. I didn't know what to do. I weakly stood up and activated by lightsaber. That did nothing. His hate seemed to consume me. I was helpless against his force choke, the last thing I remember before blacking out was his yellow eyes of evil and my desperate call through the force for my love.

I awoke, standing in a palace that used to be so bright. The evil monster was sitting in her throne. He was sitting were long ago my duchess sat, ruling her people peacefully and lovingly. When she sat on that throne it seemed to light up around her. When he sat on it, the throne was as dark as his soul. He glared at me, but I looked away. Instead of looking into his hateful eyes I gazed into the loving blue eyes of my dear Satine. She was not scared, she was sad. She knew what was coming. She was not sad for her people, or for her life. She was sad because she knew she wouldn't have much time left with me. Even through her sad gaze there was love.

He chocked her. I was held back, I wanted to go to her. I was weak, I should have been stronger. I could barley stand. She gasped, he smiled, and I loved. I went through the force and found the light. I found the bit of light and held to it. I didn't hate, I loved. He taunted me about the dark side. And I said, which all the strength within me "It takes strength to resist the dark side. Only the weak embrace it. And those who oppose it are more powerful than you will ever be." I said those words for my master, who had passed so long ago. I said those words for the jedi, for the republic. I said those words for Anakin. I said those words for Satine.

The rest happened so quick, he activated the dark blade. The blade was like his soul, menacing, black, and deadly. He brought my poor dear close to him. I tried to go to her. I then felt a sudden pain in my head. I was on my knees. I couldn't get up. I was at gunpoint of maul's soldiers. The dark saber swung and appeared on the other side of my beautiful Satine. I couldn't comprehend, I couldn't think, I couldn't even sense the force for a brief minute. My eyes widened, my mouth dropped open in shock. I was oblivious of what to do. She feel to the floor with a grunt. I ran to her. I picked up her frail fragile body. She was so light, and cold. She was trembling and coughing for breath. I brushed her golden blonde hair out of the way and held her close. She spoke quietly, without pain "Remember my dear Obi Wan." She looked at me lovingly, I looked at her, sad, shocked, afraid. Her weak hand stoked my beard. I closed my eyes to embrace her touch. I will remember her soft soothing touch that seemed to light up my soul forever.

"I have loved you always" she said her eyes dimming. I couldn't speak, I just watched helplessly. "I always will..."

Those were the last words my love said. Her eyes closed gently. Her hand fell lifelessly. I caught it. I trembled a bit as I sensed her presence leave. I was alone. I was alone in the dark. I kissed her hand gently. I put all my love into that kiss. Every drop of energy I had, I put into that kiss. Even though she was gone I wanted her to know I loved her. I didn't hear what those beasts said, I didn't care. I lovingly stroked her face and gently laid her down. She found peace at last. Her whole life was devoted to provoking peace. I gently said through the force "be at peace my love" but I had no energy to say it aloud. As the guards raised me up I laid her hands together and bowed my head. I won't forget her, her beauty, her kindness, her peace, her love. Her love stayed with me until I was able to be with her again.

**This chapter was hard. I didn't want to mess up with the emotions so I hope I did well. Please comment what you want to see. **


	5. Chapter 5

**Alright I am going to do one more following up on what happens after this chapter. I want to thank those who have read up to this and who are following this story. I'm new and when I get reviews and followers it just encourages me to write more. I hope everyone enjoys this. Please comment if you like it. **

Maul didn't kill me, but many things are worse than death. I didn't have the luxury of being put out of my misery. Maul planned on imprisoning me, he wanted me to be overwhelmed in my suffering. The guards led me out to my awaiting cell, where I was suppose to rot away. I took a last look at Satine, she looked so peaceful despite the smoking hole in her chest. As I was dragged out a felt my heart burn as I left her. I remember leaving her there with those monsters. But what did it matter, she was gone. Maul beamed as I miserably walked out of the once light and peaceful palace.

I didn't fight the ones who imprisoned me. I sat on the speeder quietly. I couldn't fight. I was weakened by maul's hate. I kept seeing the image of her dying body and it perished away in my arms. I couldn't get those horrible memories out of my head. I wanted to think of the good times I had with her, I wanted to think about her love. But I couldn't. Even if I tried to remember when we were younger, before this horrible war, I couldn't get rid of the sorrow in my heart. I then thought, I shouldn't have come. If I didn't come, none of this would ever had happened. I wanted to punch myself. I let this happen. I was blind, I was reckless. I should have done what most jedi would have done, but I didn't. I feel into the trap, she was the bait, and I feel for it. And now, because of my foolishness, she was gone. I couldn't comprehend much that day, but I do remember I was certain of one thing. My love, my beautiful Satine was gone.

I didn't break out, but a group of death watch rebels helped me. I assumed they were against Maul because they didn't have red armor like Maul's troops. Bo Katan was the leader, her and her group known as the Night Owls supported Vizsla, who I heard later was killed by Maul. Honestly I didn't do anything in the rescue, I didn't have any fight left in me. We flew on jet packs over the Mandalorian battle. Bombs exploded in such violent forces and the Night Owls with their gadgets and weapons fought fiercely against Mauls forces. Maul was no where to be seen in this battle. I could sense his darkness everywhere I went. The battle's fire and smoke ate up the poor city. This once peaceful city had sunk into the dark and destructive depths of war. All I could see was fire and rage. Satine really was gone, her peaceful planet was now a hellish place of fear and violence.

I sensed so much darkness, but at this point I didn't care. Bo Katan go me to a ship safely. Earlier Satine mentioned she had a sisters, when it came to me. I could sense Bo's affection for Mandalore and Satine. I asked her if she was her sister. Bo never replied, and all I could say was "I'm sorry." I left after that. As my ship took off I looked out at the fiery, once the pacifistic planet. I could sense I was getting farther away from the darkness that had been surrounding me for hours on end. My head finally started to clear. I could think again, but really I didn't want to. The more I thought, the more I blamed myself. The more I deeply thought through what had happened was when I couldn't handle it. I put the ship on autopilot and went to sit down. I held my head in my hands, running my hands through my hair I wondered, how could I have let this happen. For the first time, I finally felt the war had taken its toll on me. I always honored the fallen clones, or the poor civilians that lost their lives because of the war, but I now felt the war had begun to break me. War was cold, wars was ruthless, it showed no mercy or sympathy. Satine was a casualty of war, a war that should have never started. Jedi are peacekeepers and here we are on the heat of war. She never wanted war, I never wanted war, but it was inescapable. In war those who manipulate power for their own cruel causes get what they want. In war peaceful people who don't want to have any bloodshed pay the price. I now know you can't run from war, for it always finds you. Even if we did win that war, it would not have been worth it.

I then see her dying face again, that horrible scene plays a million times in my head. I try to sleep but I can't. I try to change my clothes and eat, but I can't get a bite down before having a sick feeling in my stomach. The ship is cold, much like the palace I was in hours ago. I am alone, and finally my grief overcomes me. I loved her. I loved my master. Both of them were gone. Both perished at the hands of that devilish beast. I want to hate him. I want to hate him more than anyone could ever hate anyone. But I can't, so I release those feelings of anger. But I still grieve, I still feel the pang of sorrow in my heart. I can't hate, but I need to. I can't do anything. I couldn't deal with it.

I sat alone in the cold. I sat for a long time. Confused, depressed, and hurt. Hurt from my wrongdoings, my errors that caused a innocent beautiful life to fade. My eyes grew bleary and I blinked sending a cool sensation down my cheek. The tear was as cold as Maul's soul, as cold as the bitterness of war. It left a trail of freezing pain. I let it drip, I deserved it. I deserved to have this bitter pain. I didn't cry anymore that night. I didn't sleep either. I just sat there alone. I was a lone star, with nothing else but darkness around me. And even the brightest stars die down eventually.

**So again one more following these events and then going on to what happens in Revenge of the Sith. Please comment ideas or thoughts. **


	6. Chapter 6

**Last chapter of the lawless events. I hope you enjoyed this section. The next part is the Revenge of the Sith events, If you have enjoyed this please comment Your thoughts. I will try to get up the next part as sown as possible. Again comment your ideas and criticism Please. Enjoy **

**P.S. I kinda made this part up, this is what I thought should have happened after The Lawless off course the episode didn't have that much time). I hope you enjoy **

The mandalorian ship landed on a platform at the temple. I managed to get to my feet. My gait was unsteady, and my head spun. All the grieving and anger I tried to get rid of was catching up to me. Anakin was there. He seemed worried and walked quickly up to me. I remember the bright sky blaring and a sick nausea feeling as I walked unsteadily towards Anakin. My knees then buckled under me and I fell to the ground, surrounded by darkness.

I awoke in a light room. It was quiet and peaceful. I sat up, my head still throbbed, but not as much. I then could feel the force, at last. For the first time in days I was able to breath in a pure light sensation that was the light side. There was no dark in the temple, and the light gave me strength. I was able to get up. The bit of rest I got made me feel much stronger. I was about to walk out the door when Anakin came in. He seemed shocked I was up and grabbed my shoulder gently.

"Please rest master, you have been running a high fever for days now. Please just sit" was what he said. I sat down and I could see much sympathy in his eyes.

"Have I really been out for days" I asked.

"Yep, the moment you came out of the ship you collapsed. We were all really worried. We took you to the hospital right away and got you some medicines."

As Anakin said this his eyes avoided mine. I could sense much fear and sadness in his voice. He then looked at me, his eyes had pain in them.

"I heard...what happened on Mandalore" he said sympathetically. I could see he was scared for me, he was worried about me.

"I'm...so..sorry master. I should have come and helped you...I should have given you a better ship."

I nodded. I looked up at him. I knew right away what was troubling him. He was sad for me, he was so confused on how I could deal with such a thing. Knowing Anakin I know he would be devastated if someone he cared about passed on, he would be so sad he couldn't get over it. I breathed in the force around me. I could feel the loving comfort of the force. It was all around me, I wasn't alone now. My weak days were over, I wasn't angry or confused. I wasn't depressed or hurting. I embraced the force which gave me strength and reason. I looked Anakin in the eye and gave him a sad smile.

"Anakin, we all make mistakes, and sometimes those mistakes can lead to terrible things. I don't blame anyone for what happened, I just accept it. I didn't before, I was weak, I was not thinking. But the force is always around us wherever we go. Satine's body may remain still and cold forever, but she is not gone. She and others we have loved and lost are in the force. The force is always with us. Those we love never leave us, they are always here physically and mentally."

"Physically? Master, I'm sorry but I don't understand. She's not...here" Anakin said, his eyes full of confusion.

I took a deep breath, breathing in the force and letting in absorb me. I let the force help me, guide me, instruct me. I could feel the love of my master as I breathed in. As I breathed out I let all my hate go, all my anger that weighed me down disappeared. As I breathed in I felt the soothing peaceful presence of my love. As I breathed out I let go of my blame and regrets.

"Just because you can't see them don't mean they are not here. Your eyes can deceive you. We are never alone Anakin, we will always be with the ones we care for and love. If we stay with the light, they stay with us. "

Anakin nodded. He didn't completely understand, but I did. I was clouded with darkness beforehand I was blind. I failed to see my love was still with me. I felt stronger, I got up and me and Anakin walked out.

"We are going to help Mandalore rebuild itself. Then we will leave it up to them to decide what to do" Anakin said.

"Bo Katan, she should decide" was what I said.

Anakin gave me a confused look.

"Satine would have wanted that, Bo Katan will be a fine leader."

Anakin simply nodded, patted me on the shoulder, and walked away. I could sense as he left that he felt a little more confident in me. He wasn't as worried much for me. He shouldn't be. I was fine. The war still went on but I remained. I fought through it, Anakin by my side most of the time. I made sure Mandalore was given aid and resources. In my later years I would revisit the planet, I just didn't want to go back yet. I did still miss Satine dearly. I thought of her often, but I never gave into the miserable state I was in. I preserved through the war for her and my master.

I thought after the tragedy on Mandalore, that I had seen my worst days. I said to myself "it can't get worse than this." But oh it did. I never in my wildest dream imagined that my life would be full of so much horror and loss. But I never gave into hate. I never did , and I never would.

Comment if you enjoyed!


	7. Chapter 7

**This is a sorta prequel to what is going to happen. I hope you enjoy. Please continue to give me suggestions to make my stories the best they can be. **

Through the bitterness of war me and Anakin prevailed. We fought battles, easy ones, hard ones, but all where the same. All wore us out completely. This was a new age for the jedi. We were constantly busy fighting from one planet to the next. We lost many great masters and knights to this war. But we sometimes were too worn out to mourn them at all. I don't even know if I know all the names of the fallen jedi. We were tired and beaten. We had way to many battle scars, all the Jedi wanted was for the war to end.

As war took its toll on all the jedi, I can't help but think me and Anakin were the ones getting hit the most. Yoda barely did fight, I can't blame him. He was an elderly jedi, but still. Me and Anakin were sent into battle constantly. Me and Anakin were also a legendary team. When someone wanted someone done they sent us in. We got things done, and always survived. I was sure me and Anakin could survive any battle. But we didn't. Anakin like so many other extraordinary people was a causality of this war. He lost to the longest and brutalist battle of the war. The internal one.

I think back on the war with disgrace. Jedi are peacekeepers, but here we are slaughter lives for a government. It wasn't even our government. The government we served was as corrupt as the war. The war wore me down like rain wears down rock. I often forgot what I stand for. In the heat of battle, your men are dying by the dozen. Explosions send the ground flying, blasts are like rain, constantly flying wherever you go. I run, into the rain of blasts. It's always blasts, whether in the sky or on land. It's a downpour of blue and red deadly blasts. The burning pain of getting shot it unimaginable. It burns the skin like a small explosion on your skin. It leaves a permanent black burn. I got shot once, in the shoulder. It still hurts, and it will for the rest of your life. There have been too many massacres, martyrs, executions, battles, and causalities. I have seen a number of people die before my eyes. I have seen a number of innocent people get slaughtered and their nations conquered. I had seen too much of war.

Anakin lost a limb to war, I lost a love. Anakin trust was slowly fading, my honor was slowly fading. With each passing battle, we returned beaten bloody. We would comfort one another, aid one another, fight side by side. Every time we rushed into battle I was get scared. Not for myself, but for my apprentice, for my best friend, for my brother. I was always afraid I would loose him, and in the end I did. Unlike with my master, we spent more time dodging blasts and wondering if we would live to see another day than at the temple. He didn't get the proper training, no jedi did. Not in this time. Our culture was fading, our honor, our strength. How much longer could we last. The jedi were mountains, but war was time. Over time the highest mountain is worn down into nothing. We couldn't tap into the force like we could before. We didn't respect life like we did before. Towards the end we were no longer peacekeepers, but soldiers.

But we survived until the end. When the end came most jedi were able to be at peace. But not me, or Anakin. He suffered a fate much worse than death. To this day I can't forgive myself or forget what happened. Until the end of my days I would remember every moment that led up to the horror that was the end of my brother. It all happened so gradual, yet so quick. It was over in a heartbeat, but yet it lasted a lifetime.

Again comment if you enjoyed


	8. Chapter 8

**Alright it's late but I want to get this up. Same old same old. Comment suggestions and reviews. next chapter coming soon. I can't wait for the Ashoka Arc (for all you clone wars fans)!I have a feeling we are going to see Ashokas Fate! Enjoy and look for upcoming chapters! **

It was the last days of the war. Through the war many things happened. Anakin, grew up. He was now a mature jedi knight, and no longer my young Padawan. We still fought side by side though. My young Padawan found love, and even though he has never told me, I know. I lost my love, not forever though. I still fight for her, every time I rush into the dark depths of war I think of her. I have grown. War has beaten me physically and mentally. My hair is growing more grey after each battle. I'm not young and agile anymore, I am much older and stiffer. I wasn't immune to war, I was raised during a peaceful time. Anakin on the other hand grew up around corruption and war. He was raised durning it. He often called me "old man" for I would heave for breath during battle. It was true he was younger, but not stronger.

We flew though fire and explosions. I could sense Anakin's worries from in my starfighter. I wasn't worried, not anymore. Anakin of course had feelings about Palpatine, but I didn't. I could care less, I just wanted the war to end. I also cared for Anakin, so I was willing to risk my life for the chancellor. I didn't care if I exploded into a million bits right now, but I didn't give up. I never gave in. I kept going for Qui Gon, who would have kept going if he was in my position. I kept going for my love, who fought for what she believed in until the end. I fought for Anakin who was by my side and needed me to. That's what kept me going the most. I wanted Anakin to see a galaxy with no war. He deserved it. But he never saw it.

I almost crashed for the 10th time in this war. Buzz droids attacked my ship, I remained calm but Anakin was a worried mess. We managed to land on the ship where Grevious was keeping Palpatine. We easily cut down the battle droids there and made our way there. Dooku was there. We fought him for a long time. Anakin fought with such control at first, I was proud of him. It was when Anakin realized Dooku was after me when he started to get a bit out of control. I could sense the anger increase in him by the minute. I sensed so much darkness, but in these days of war I always sensed darkness. The darkness was everywhere in the ship, the lightsaber a we held, the chair the chancellor sat in, everywhere. It was growing in Anakin, Dooku, and Palpatine. It was when we where on the bridge when Dooku started to choke me. I couldn't breath as I watched Anakin get kicked far into a corner.

I remember flying through the air, and a sudden sharp pain in my back and I felt as my back twisted into an odd potion, Then I blacked out. I was unconscious but I still could sense things. I saw a dark hole expanding, taking in everything around it. The hole grew until it covered all of space. I saw lights, blue, red, white, black. I sensed a heavy darkness sweat over the room, along with much fear. I heard the distinctive cutting of a lightsaber. I saw a dark hand scoop up the universe and grasp it tight. I saw as light slipped out and the shadows of dark where weaving into the hearts of good and ripping them apart. I saw as the galaxy was removed of all love, honor, and justice. I saw as the force collapsed under the black dark hand.

I awoke, looking down at a dark hole that looked like it lasted forever. For a few slight minutes I thought my blurry visions were true, when I saw Anakin. I smiled in relief before clutching him. We were hanging in a elevator shaft. Palpatine was feebly hanging into Anakin's boot, I was holding his shoulders.

I could sense he was relieved, I guessed he killed Dooku and later figured that was true. Palpatine was not worried, even though he looked like he was. Palpatine was calm, like he already knew everything would be fine. Little did I know, I was right, except everything was not going to be ok for me or Anakin.

We were captured shortly by General Grevious. Through out the war Grevious has never really been a threat. He never was, he was a tool. Our fights with him had little impact on our lives. We fought Grevious and he ran away. He was a coward, nothing more. We landed the remains of Grevious's damaged ship on Corasaunt. We brought the chancellor to safety and it was another job well done for Anakin and Obi Wan. Of course that's what it seemed like. But that mission changed my life forever.

As the days went on Anakin became more and more tense. I could sense it ever sense we got back to Corasaunt. I didn't know why he was growing so scared and anxious he just was. He was often late to meetings. I could just sense he was a confused mess. I should have helped him, but I didn't want to get involved. I don't know what would have happened if I reached out and tried to help him, but it might have been different than what actually happened.

A darkness was falling over all of us. Anakin grew more unstable every day, it pained me to see him like that. He was always so unsure and confused. I tried my best to not add any more anger or work to his already crazy life. The whole chosen one thing had taken its toll on Anakin. He had always enjoyed his fame, but now he was just weighed down by it. The council put so much pressure on him and I saw as he coldly excepted these responsibilities. I was against it. I tried to speak up and say it was too much for him, they didn't listen.

It was when they told me that Anakin had to spy on Palpatine that I said "no." I refused to make my friend who was under so much stress go through that. I said "no" but Anakin still had to do it. My opinion didn't matter, the council agreed to it so Anakin had to. That night I couldn't sleep. I sensed so much corruption in the jedi, the republic, my friends, and myself. I couldn't understand. Palpatine wanted to end the war but wanted power? The jedi were attempting treason? They are actually going to make Anakin do that? Do they want to break the poor boy completely? Those were all the thoughts that ran through my head that night. Then as I thought of all these new confusions the same old haunting images came into my mind. My master dying, my dear Satine lifeless, Maul's hellish yellow eyes glaring, Dooku's taunts, Anakin's anger, and Palpatine's power hungry ways. I didn't sleep well those last days of the war. My heart ached for the ones I loved and the pain they had experienced or were experiencing.

Please comment your ideas and suggestions, I want to make my readers happy so I want to know how I can improve my stories to make them more enjoyable for you guys.


	9. Chapter 9

**Ok this is a really short chapter, it's just kinda obi wan looking back on what happened. I'm going to tell Anakin's fall in a lot of detail dont worry. Again please comment suggestions. Enjoy**

I am a jedi, not a general. I am not a solider, or a hermit but a jedi knight. I don't serve any republic, but I serve the force. I didn't devote my life to fighting but to peace. So my life challenged what I believed in. I wanted peace, but I fought. I wanted love and honor, but those things come with a price. I all who I loved were gone. All my years of fighting for honor were wasted. I tried to fight when there was no escape. With almost everything gone, my love, my society, my honor there was only one thing I could do with my life.

In all these years in the lonely hills of the desert I thought back. Could I have changed what happened? Why did I survive, I can't fix anything. Master Windu should be here or master Fisto or master Mundi. But they weren't. There were only two left. Me and Yoda. Now that I am completely helpless to what's happening I can only do one thing. Devote the rest of my weak life to the force. I can't kill the sith, I can't bring down the empire. But they won't stop me. I'm not broken yet. Inside I'm shattering, but I'm not broken. I have no one to fight for anymore, but I can fight for my beliefs. My jedi ways have stayed intact through all my suffering I'm not going to let it go now.

Through my years alone on the desert I transformed. I wasn't a hero anymore, I slowly became an elderly jedi. I wasn't a solider, I was a peaceful old man. I spent much of my time, meditating. I thought about all the poor jedi who were killed. I thought of the galaxy and how the dark side surrounded it. There wasn't enough light in this universe, but that didn't stop me from being good. I promised myself I would be a loyal jedi, and I always was. I embraced the only light I could find during those dark times. I looked back on what happened and I am shocked. It seemed like something out of a story. It was a horrible tragedy, it seemed too horrible to be realistic. I can't pinpoint exactly when our universe began to break apart, but the day my best friend began to break was the day I was forced to tell him something horrible. I remember that day like it was yesterday, it was after that when everything went downhill. Our republic, our order, our galaxy cascaded down into a valley of darkness and we were helpless against it.


	10. Chapter 10

**Yah! I got up to chapter 10! I can't believe how many views I have been getting on this, I just want to thank those who have read up to this point. And thank you so much for those who have followed, favorited, and reviewed! Last chapter hasn't got that many views soI don't know if people didn't like it or what? So review what you want to see more of, what you don't want to see more of, and what needs to be fixed. And most of all enjoy! **

The halls of the temple were bare, me and Anakin walked alone. As usual he was stressed, I didn't want to do this. I didn't want to put my best friend through any more pain, but I had to. It was a task that had to be done, the fate of the Jedi depended on it. We had to find the Sith and destroy them.

The sun was setting over Coruscant as the traffic outside slowed down. Anakin was complaining more about the Council.

"What is this, put me on the council and not make me a master. It's never been done in the history of the Jedi, it's insulting" Anakin said angrily.

I thought Anakin was being a bit dramatic, but the council wasn't the fairest to Anakin. I spoke up and said Anakin should be made a master, no one agreed. If it weren't for Palpatine, Anakin wouldn't be on the council at all. But that was the thing, we didn't trust Palpatine. I didn't trust him. Palpatine's relationship with Anakin was dangerous. Anakin was so unpredictable and Palpatine was so power hungry.

The council had every reason to be suspicious about Palpatine, but they took their suspicions out on Anakin. It wasn't right, but in this time of war people often make rash decisions.

"Oh calm down Anakin, you have been given a great honor. To be on the council at your age it's never happened before" I said.

I causally tried to bring up the conversation I was dreading. I thought if I just made it sound like a causal conversation Anakin wouldn't get tense or worried. But Anakin wasn't fooled easily

"The fact of the matter is you are too close to the Chancellor. The council doesn't like it when he interferes with Jedi affairs" I said.

Anakin stopped and looked at me, confusion and desperation swelled his eyes. He shook his head as he said "I swear to you, I didn't ask to be put on the council."

"But it's what you wanted."

We contained to walk down the hallway there was a bit of silence when I said "your friendship with Chancellor Palpatine seems to have payed off."

"He had nothing to do with this" Anakin said quickly and assertively. I could sense his frustrations building up by the second. I was feeling guilty already, but I did continue to speak, but every sentence pained me.

"The only reason the Council approved your appointment is because the Chancellor trusts you."

I stopped there. I didn't know what to say. "And..." Anakin said, he could tell I had more to say on the matter.

We stopped for a long time, "Anakin I am on your side, I didn't want to put you in this situation" I said.

I wanted Anakin to know I supported him. I wanted him to know I didn't want this to happen. I didn't want to make Anakin go through any more, but Anakin didn't see it that way.

"What situation" Anakin responded, anger growing in his voice.

I avoided Anakin's eyes and looked to the ground. I took a deep breath, I knew right away this wasn't right. I said it quietly and calmly. There was a hint of guilt and sadness in my voice. "The council wants you to report on all the Chancellor's dealings. They want to know what's he's up to."

I looked into Anakin's horrified eyes. Pain and guilt shot through me. Anakin at first didn't know what to say. I sensed his shock, it took him a minute to comprehend what I said. We walked towards the window. The bright sun glared in our faces. Anakin finally spoke up in a painful voice. "They want me to spy on the Chancellor? That's treason."

We turned and faced each other. I was staring into Anakin's painful brown eyes. The scar over his eye seemed deeper, his face was dead serious. I tried to look calm and professional. I stood up straight and didn't show any anger on my face.

"We are at war Anakin" was what I said. Oh how this horrible war made us do such horrible things. Anakin shook his head in denial. He couldn't believe what was going on. I couldn't describe the pain in his eyes, if he wasn't a Jedi I swore he would have fallen onto his knees and cried. I saw more anger build up in him.

His head jerked up to look at me, I could tell he was holding back so much anger. "Why didn't the council give me this assignment when we were in session?" He said this while trying to stay calm, but he was furious inside.

"This assignment is not to be on record" I said looking at Anakin.

Anakin was breathing heavily, "the Chancellor is not a bad man, Obi Wan. He befriended me, he's watched out for me ever since I have arrived here."

"That is why you must help us" I said desperately.

"Anakin...our allegiance is to the Senate, not to its leader who has managed to stay in office long after his term as expired."

My voice wasn't so calm now. I had a concerned tone to my voice, and I felt my face tense up as I spoke.

"The Senate demanded he stayed longer" Anakin declared.

"Yes but use your feelings Anakin, something is out of place."

I was practically pleading at this point. I was begging Anakin to see my point of view.

Anakin groaned and turned away from me, I sensed he had practically lost all his trust in me. Our friendship was shattering, my poor apprentice had a cold look on his face. It broke my heart to see him like that. Anakin was always so strong but he was weakening by the day.

"Your asking me to do something against the Jedi code, against the Republic, against a mentor and a friend that's what out of place here."

His voice was serious and heartless. He didn't look at me while he said this. Finally he said "why are you asking this of me?"

Why was I asking this of my dear friend? It was a cold and selfish thing to do. The Council knew very well Anakin cared for Palpatine. Yes, we needed to find the Sith Lord, but did we need to give Anakin this mission? And why now? Couldn't the Council sense Anakin's troubles, or were the Jedi just so tuned out because of this war. Had it come to the point where the Jedi didn't care about anyone's feelings.

Before the war the Jedi would help poor troubled people. Now the Jedi didn't care about a man who was practically breaking apart. Well I cared for Anakin. I didn't know how to answer Anakin's question. After a long pause I said "the Council is asking you."

Our friendship broke that day, and that break never fully healed. The break that happened that day just got bigger and bigger. That day was just the start of the horrific events that lay ahead.

I tried very hard to fix some mistakes that people have been Noticing in the last chapters,

Now some people said that the paragraphs were too long so I hope I fixed that here.

Also I have went over and edited it multiple times so I hope people can see improvement of grammar, capitalization, etc.

And last of all I tried to make the dialogue parts easier to understand. I know that's a big one people have been saying so I hope I got it this time.

Again comment your ideas, suggestions, complaints, anything!


	11. Chapter 11

**I haven't been getting too many views on my new chapters so idk if it's just people are not on much or what! So comment how I can improve or what you want to see. Also comment what you are enjoying so I can add more of it. I hope everyone who has read this far has been enjoying it. Again please do comment if you are enjoying it, I love to see what people have to say about my work. I have some tests and projects coming up in school and I might not be able to update as much, again the more comments and followers the faster I will put up new chapters. Ok enjoy! **

The evening Coruscant breeze blew in my face. We were on a Republic gunship on our way to drop Yoda off. Yoda was going to Kashyyyk to help the wookiees. The separatists were attacking that planet. The planet of Kashyyyk gave us many resources and supplie so it was vital that we help them. Yoda had been to Kashyyyk before, and knew the wookiees well. I had never been to Kashyyyk, and I never did go.

It was funny to think of master Yoda going to aid in a battle. Yoda was old, he hadn't been on a mission in years. This just proved how much the Jedi wanted this war to end. They were willing to send out an old Jedi master into battle for this war to end. Yoda didn't seemed too upset, but I was. What if master Yoda was hurt, or worse. I don't think the Jedi order could stand without Yoda, especially in these unstable times.

I could tell Mace and Yoda wanted to know about how my talk with Anakin went. I was a bit upset at these masters, but I cooperated. They were grand Jedi masters, much better than myself. They were wise, powerful, and intelligent. I knew I could trust them to make the right decisions, but I should I have trusted them?

"Anakin didn't take to his new assignment with much enthusiasm" I stated calmly. I didn't want the masters to sense my uneasiness.

"It's very dangerous putting them together. I don't think the boy can handle it" Mace said coldly.

Then why are you making him do this mission? That was what I wanted to yell. But I didn't say anything, I couldn't. Mace had always been a friend of mine. He taught me so much when I was younger. He comforted me when Qui Gon was killed. This war was making Mace colder, he wasn't as warm and friendly as he used to be. I hoped the war hadn't done that to me. I hoped I wasn't becoming cold and heartless, because I tried constantly to not become that.

"I don't trust him" Mace continued. His voice was stale and brutal. He almost had a sense of hate to him.

I was shocked, Mace had gone too far. I always knew Mace didn't care tremendously for Anakin, but to flat out say he didn't trust him was not right. Mace never wanted Anakin to become a Jedi, that was always clear. I somewhat held that against Mace. I could sense some anger building up in me, I was mad at Mace. He wasn't being fair to Anakin.

I didn't yell at Mace. I didn't even show any signs that I was upset at him. I didn't need to start any more disagreements or conflicts, there were already too many of those.

I calmly said "With all due respect master, Is he not the chosen one? Is he not to destroy the Sith and bring balance to the force?"

Mace gave a sarcastic smile, and said gruffly "so the prophecy says."

I felt I was the only one who cared for Anakin. Mace didn't seem to think Anakin had any emotions, that he was just some tool. To me Anakin was never a tool, he was my dearest friend. To other Jedi, Anakin was nothing more than a weapon. He was the tool that should destroy the Sith. Well Anakin was no droid, he wasn't programmed to destroy the Sith. He was a living human, who had feelings and made his own decisions. Maybe if the other masters just saw this, maybe things would have turned out differently.

"A prophecy, that misread could have been" chimed in Yoda.

Yoda said this in a cold way, almost like Mace. I felt bad for Anakin, all these great and powerful masters doubted him. Now Yoda was doubting whether Anakin even would destroy the Sith. They had no faith in the boy. But I did. I was proud of Anakin, but maybe I was too proud to except what he would later become.

In Anakin's defense I said "he will not let me down, he never has."

I said this lovingly, for I didn't want to sound cold like the other masters. What is happening to us. The gunship lacked any presences of warmth or love. It was filled with the presence of distrust, coldness, worry, and dislike. Master Yoda always had the light side of the force surrounding him. Now him and Mace seemed serious and concerned. They had no bit of love for Anakin, this hurt me a lot.

"I hope right you are" Yoda said coldly. His voice filled with doubt.

I looked outside the gunship, I tried to find a but of lightness that I could latch onto. But the force was lacking lightness. I felt cold, alone, and sad. Sad for Anakin who no one trusted or believed in. I trusted him with my life, but no one else did. Was I wrong to trust him, or were they wrong to doubt him?

When we got to the takeoff zone it was nearly night. A wookiee general was there. He was very tall and towered over us all. Mace and Yoda shared a few words. As Yoda left I called out to my dear master. It had just struck me that I might never see Yoda again. Even thought I was mad at him for being so hard on Anakin I had to say something.

"May the force be with you master" I said warmly.

"And with you too, master Kenobi" Yoda replied.

He then boarded the republic attack cruiser and was gone from sight. I didn't say anything to master Windu on the way back to the temple. That was the last conversation I ever had with Master Windu, I was just sorry it was such a cold and hateful one.


	12. Chapter 12

**Alright I didn't think I would get this chapter done tonight but I did so..YAH! Ok so comment if you liked it. The more comments, the faster I will post new chapters:) again thanks to all who have read up this far, you guys are awesome! So glad people are enjoying it. **

I had trouble sleeping that night. I had clouded dreams of blackness and terror. I can't say what the images were, but that dream was full of pain. I saw lightsabers clash,smoke and destruction. At last I saw a pair of yellow eyes gleaming. They tore into my soul, tormenting me.

Those evil eyes belonged to many people. They belonged to the horrid monster who gutted both my master and my love. They belonged to the sneaky sly evil creature that was the one who would tear apart the galaxy. Lastly they belonged to what used to be my dearest friend. If only I saw that dream as a warning, I might have been prepared for what was going to happen.

I had more dreams like this before the final crash of the Republic. I got up that morning so tired. My head spun, and my eyes were heavy. The moment I woke up I sensed something was wrong. I could sense something so very wrong, but I couldn't figure out what it was. I was frightened, the last time I was clouded with darkness the ending result was my love's death. I tried to forget the darkness and focused on the light. I then had to go to a council meeting.

It was when Anakin came into the Council Chambers that I started to worry more. I sensed fear in him, but at the same time another feeling. I sensed something wrong with him too. Was the universe just going crazy, or was I? Anakin looked fine though, in fact he looked better than he had in many days. Along with the strange almost dark feeling Anakin had surrounding him, I sensed a bit of relief. Whatever it was, Anakin had defiantly changed since yesterday.

We sat down. All the masters were tense. Yoda and a couple others were in hologram form. I was relieved to see Yoda was ok, I was a bit worried for the old master. To see him unharmed made me feel a bit better.

"Palpatine thinks Genral Grevious is on Utapua" Ki Audi Mundi asked?

"A partial message has been intercepted in a diplomatic packet from the chairmen of Utapua" Anakin said maturely.

"Hmmm. Act on this we must, the capture of General Grevious will end this war" Yoda stated.

Everything seemed straightforward and simple. But little did we know that Grevious's capture would do nothing to our advantage.

"Quickly we should proceed" Yoda declared.

I could sense Anakin suddenly build up with worry. I had no idea why he was suddenly becoming so worried.

"The chancellor has requested...that I lead the campaign" Anakin said timidly.

He was afraid to speak up. He was afraid they would push him down like the council had always done to him. I knew the council would say no, Anakin was needed here,to spy on Palpatine. I felt bad for Anakin. Mace would probably yell at the poor boy. I looked at Anakin gently, I didn't want him to think I had no faith in him.

"The council is to make up their own mind of who is to go. Not the Chancellor" Mace said coldly.

Yoda had almost a scowl on his face, and Mace had no warmth for Anakin at all. The whole council was practically frowning at Anakin. The room was filled with tenseness and frustrations.

Yoda finally broke the silence when he said "A master is needed, with more experience."

Oh great! We already are low on available masters, who is going to go. I pondered this in my head, it had never occurred to me that I was fit for this mission. Yes, I had succeeded in many missions and I was well aware that I was a decent Jedi Master. I never thought the council would leave such a big mission to me. The whole outcome of the war depended on this mission, so I was shocked when Ki Audi Mundi spoke up.

"I conquer, Master Kenobi should go."

I was shocked. I didn't show it in my face or in the force but I was very surprised. I was a bit proud and nervous, this was not going to be an easy mission. But I would never back down if I was chosen to go. Even if I knew it was going to be certain death, I wouldn't back down.

"I agree" I heard Yoda say. I also heard many other masters agree with him. But I wasn't focused on them. I was focused on Anakin. I could sense his disappointment. From the moment I came in I sensed Anakin was very confident about something. Now that confidence had vanished. Palpatine really made Anakin believe he was going to get this mission. And when Anakin didn't get it, it made him that more frustrated and angry at the council.

"Very well" Mace said seriously and the council was dismissed.


	13. Chapter 13

**Ok another chapter Done! This part is not seen in the movie, but it is mentioned sorta. Anyway I wanted to delve deep into all the parts that lead to Anakin's fall. Please do comment your opinions and enjoy! **

The next day I woke up and got ready for the big mission. I had no idea if I was going to make it back alive, but I wasn't scared. I strapped on my belt and attached my lightsaber. But I wasn't leaving for a couple hours. Anakin had already said he would see me off. I think he was more scared for me than I was. Anakin always had a problem with letting people go, and he knew this missions was dangerous.

I got a bit more mad at the council the more I thought about Anakin. They knew Anakin was very attached to me, and they were sending me away on a life threatening mission. I tried to push these thoughts out of my mind, I needed to prioritize. I might not come back from this mission alive, I needed to make sure Anakin would be ok.

It took me awhile to figure out what to do. I couldn't talk to Anakin about what might happen. I was hesitant, but I knew what I needed to do. I took my Jedi fighter over to Padme's apartment. She saw me and came rushing out. She looked a bit worried, I smiled so she knew Anakin was fine. She was so full of was no anger or depression in her. For once I felt I was surrounded by light, and it felt good.

"Obi Wan, how are you" she asked warmly?

"Oh I am fine" I replied calmly.

"Well, what brings you here" she asked?

I smiled warmly and asked "um, may I sit down?"

"Why sure" she replied.

We sat down. She looked different, but I couldn't tell why. Her robes were bigger than usual. Her presences was different too. It felt like she wasn't alone, like there was someone else here. I didn't think into to deeply it though.

"I'm going on a mission to capture General Grevious" I stated quietly.

She became scared and worried all of a sudden. I breathed in quietly and put my hand on her shoulder gently. I looked into her brown eyes that were filled with worry. She was worried I wasn't going to make it back.

"I will be fine" I said, but that didn't reassure her.

I had to be honest with her. I needed to for Anakin. Both of us knew there was a chance I wouldn't come back. I sighed and said in a sad tone

"Padme, this is a dangerous mission. I know very well I may not return."

"Don't say things like that" she said, cutting me off!

I didn't want to make her scared, so I tired to calm her down and spoke quietly.

"Please Padme, I'm going to be alright. But...just in case I'm not, you need to help Anakin."

I saw her draw in a quick breath, she didn't want to think of me dying. She nodded though, she knew Anakin would be devastated. But I was wondering if she really knew how much Anakin was going through.

"Anakin has been under extreme pressure. I have tried to be as easy and heartfelt with him but I don't think that has helped."

As I said this my heart pained for Anakin. If I was killed in this mission Anakin would probably break. And worst of all, no one would comfort the poor boy. Mace would yell at Anakin if he showed any emotions for me, and Yoda wouldn't show any sympathy for Anakin. But I had to go, I needed to do my duty to the Jedi Order, even if that meant death.

"The council has not been easy to Anakin. I am afraid, if...for whatever reason I pass on, no one will be there for Anakin besides you."

Padme looked pained for Anakin. She sighed and looked down.

"Obi Wan...you are a father to Anakin. You have helped Anakin so much, and you have helped me. I don't know how to thank you."

She knew. She knew I was aware of their marriage. She was thankful. She was about to get tears in her eyes. She didn't want to think of me being gone. I looked around, this place had such a light presences. Anakin was loved by this women. I knew how it felt to be loved. Again I thought of my dear Satine, at least she was away from this horrid war.

"I am worried for Anakin. You don't understand the amount of stress he is under" I said. My voice was a bit shaky.

She finally turned to me. Her eyes were filled with sadness, but yet love. She smiled slightly and said sweetly.

"Don't worry, he will be ok...I promise."

I nodded. I knew Anakin would be loved by her. At least Anakin wasn't alone. I got up. I had to go soon. Padme almost started crying, it had hit her that she may never see me again. I turned around and shook my head.

"Don't cry, I'm a Jedi, I don't fear death. "

She nodded sadly. She looked up at me.

"Don't mention what I discussed with you to Anakin,he can't handle anymore stress. Just please be there for him of he needs it."

I said this with a sad tone, but also a serious one. She understood what she needed to do, and I knew she would do it. I was satisfied.

"I promise, I will look after him" she managed to say.

I smiled, I wanted to leave on a good note. I walked out towards my ship.

"Wait!" I heard Padme say.

I turned around as she said, "You have always been there for me and Anakin for as long as I can remember. I just wanted to say, Thank You."

I smiled and said "No need for any thank you's, as a Jedi I am bound to helping people. And remember Padme, this war will end. But we need to make sure we don't sacrifice what we believe in, to end this conflict. If we don't stay true to who we are, there is no reason to fight at all."

She nodded and I turned to get one last look at her. She really was a remarkable women, I hoped the best for her. Before I left I felt that presences of another being again. I was puzzled, but then all of a sudden I understood. Padme was going to be a mother. I smiled, I was happy for her and Anakin. I then left.

That wasn't the last time I saw her, but this was the last time I saw her happy. The next time I would come to this house, I would have to break her heart. She never saw the end to the war, but I did. When this war did end, I was alone in the dark.


	14. Chapter 14Valentines Tribute

**So even though this isn't the exact time period I thought I would do a little Valentines Special Chapter. This is part of this current story so don't skip this chapter! Tell me if you want to see more of these sorta look back chapters. I will try to get the next one, when obi and Anakin say goodbye :( soon! Hope you enjoy this one **

It was only a couple months before the war ended that I went back to Mandalore. I was a bit hesitant to go, but I felt I almost needed to. I knew Satine very well, and I felt a responsibility to make sure Mandalore was stable. I had the day off, and I finally sucked up the courage to go. I had not been to Madnalore since I went to rescue Satine.

I had heard some republic representatives went to Mandalore to help repair the cities, but I never went back personally. According to the representative's report many civilians had been killed. Most of the city had been destroyed in the Mandalorian battle. Mandalore was in ruins.

The thing that worried and puzzled me the most was Savage Opress's body had been found, dead. It seemed that he was stabbed, he had two holes created by a lightsaber in his chest. The Jedi never fully investigated on this matter, but I was very curious.

The big question on my mind was who killed Savage. Was it Maul? But why would Maul kill his own brother? Did the Night Owls get ahold of a lightsaber or two? I was confused, but I didn't ponder it too much. I had too many other things on my mind.

When I got to Mandalore the buildings were shining. It was a beautiful warm day and the docks were neat and clean. When Bo Katan heard I was on Mandalore she came up to greet me at once. She looked happy.

"Well...what do you think?" She asked nicely.

"I think it is fully repaired. It looks fantastic" I said.

"Yes...please come take a look at the city" she insisted.

I went.

The civilians looked peaceful and happy. It didn't look like a war had ever tacked place. It looked like it did when I first came here, all those years ago with Qui Gon. Both me and Satine were so young back then. She was even pacifistic and stubborn then.

As I looked around the new Mandalore I was very pleased. Children ran around happily. There was no corruption. There were no economic problems. There was no violence. I smiled. This was always how Satine wanted Mandalore to be. If only she was here to see it.

Bo showed me around more. I saw Korkie, Satine's nephew. I also saw a couple other Night Owls. Mandalore was still neutral. Even though Bo supported the warrior ways of the Mandaloirans, she wanted to honor her sister. Mandalore wasn't completely pacifistic, but it was far from the death watch's ideas.

I thought Bo was handling the New Mandalore just fine. Mandalore would be stable for years to come. It was in a good state. There was no death watch threat anymore. If invaders did come, Bo and her fellow Night Owls would know how to protect the civilians. It wasn't Satine's way, but I thought it was ok.

I went into the Palace to eat lunch. It pained me so much to go in, but I did it anyway. I still could see Satine's throne. It wasn't dark like the last time I saw it. The throne was glowing, like Satine's very soul was lighting it up. I saw the shattered glass on the floor where the black lightsaber of Pre Viszla had cut into it. I saw the steps where my love was chocked and stabbed. I got a sick feeling in my stomach thinking about it.

I saw the a couple lightsaber cuts that puzzled me. They were not there when I was last in this place watching my love die. Bo could see my confusion.

"It was there after the battle. No one had any idea what happened. We came into the palace and Maul and his brother were not here. The guards were dead and the glass on the windows was shattered."

I nodded as she explained, it was all very confusing.

"We later found Mauls brother dead. We had no idea who killed him. At first we thought it was a Jedi, his fatal wounds were made by a lightsaber. But then we realized the Jedi would have contacted us" she continued.

"No we didn't kill that monster. But believe me, the Jedi Council will have it looked into."

She nodded.

When we finished eating she had to go. We said goodbye. I saw a tear stream down her cheek. She knew Satine had loved me, and she missed her sister.

So did I.

It was sunset. The sky was pink and it was warm out. I breathed in all the peace and light around me. I felt loved, even though no one was around. There was a grassy patch with a couple flowers growing. I walked over slowly, I picked one flower. It was a beautiful flower, white and pearly in the sunset.

It was not far from the Palace where the ones who were lost in the horrible battled were remembered. I walked through the memorial grounds. There were hundreds of shrines and graves. There were hundreds of names of ones who were no one with the force. Young people, old people, boys, girls, too many innocents had been killed.

There was a small breeze. I closed my eyes and embraced it. The fading sun warmed me. I could see the moon just coming out in the pink and purple sky. I finally found it. Glistening in the sun, a shiny stone. I saw my own reflection in the stone. Engraved into the stone was "In loving memory of Duchess Satine Kryze."

I looked down at the white flower in my hand. I held it close to my chest. I closed my eyes. I thought back, when I first met her. She was so young. We both were. I remember protecting her, I even remember disliking her at a time. But when our lives were on the line we knew we couldn't live without each other. I remembered her warm presences. I loved her, I still did. My love for her would last my entire life. I knew she loved me too, she always would.

But she wasn't gone. No one is ever gone. Bo wasn't the only one watching over Mandalore. I held the flower tight, and lowered down to one knee. I gently touched the moist dirt. Under the grass and dirt, what was left of my dear love laid peacefully. I laid the flower down gently. I wasn't crying, I wasn't even about to cry. I knew I wasn't alone, I knew she would never leave me.

"Be at peace my love" was what I whispered quietly.

I got up. I closed my eyes. And I felt the warmth of the sun go away as the cool night approached. But there was an even stronger warmth surrounding me. It was calm, peacefully, and loving. As the sun set completely, the warmth didn't go. I looked up at the Mandalorian night sky. Millions of stars glittered across the black night. I smiled. Love was eternal, even for a Jedi forbidden to love. Her love lived on in the force, in me, and in others. I started to walk, and looked one more time at my loves resting place. "I love you...I'm sorry I didn't say it more" I said so very quietly. I then turned and walked towards my ship.

I left Mandalore. I left feeling comforted. I didn't feel alone. I felt loved and happy. I held onto those feelings of her love. I never forgot her, or her planet. That was the last time I ever went to Mandalore, but not the last time I thought of the Mandalorian duchess. I was able to feel warmth and love in those days before the end of the war. Those were the good times compared to what was going to happen. But throughout what happened in my life I never forgot the ones I loved.

**I hope no one is disappointed or anything thing with this chapter. I just thought it would be a sweet Valentines Day tribute. Comment your opinion! **


	15. Chapter 15

**Ok I got these big tests tomorrow so I might not get another chapter up tonight. But by tomorrow afternoon I should have at least one more chapter up (maybe one more!) Please comment! I hope everyone liked the Valentine chapter I did. This chapter us one of my fav scenes, it's so sweet and sad. So enjoy! **

I was at the landing platform, and just as he promised Anakin was there. He was full of fear and worry. I breathed in heavily, this could be the last time I saw Anakin. I didn't want to think that, but there was a possibility I wasn't going to make it. Grevious had slain many Jedi, and I would be facing him all alone.

Unlike me, the war had made Grevious stronger. He found strength and pleasure in others suffering. The war had weakened me. I wasn't as young as I was when the war had started. It is amazing how war can make someone age twice as fast as they normally would. I was mentally and physically exhausted.

I wasn't scared of my possible end. I wouldn't fear or run from death. I would except the will of the force easily. If it was the will of the force that I should be struck down by Grevious, so be it. I didn't worry for myself, I never have, I never would.

I did worry for Anakin. My poor Padawan. He was strong, but no one is invincible. We all have our strengths and weaknesses. Anakin's weakness was fear and stress, and in war there is too much of that. He looked sad, he didn't want me to go.

I walked up to him. I gave him a warm smile and patted his shoulder. He smiled. I was very impressed by my Padawan. Even thought when I arrived he was surrounded by fear, he was starting to embrace the light. I could feel the anger for the council go away, and a feeling of love and compassion grow. He wanted me to be proud of him. He realized he might not see me again, he was trying to not ruin our "last" moments together with hate.

This made me feel so proud and happy. Anakin was actually handling this very well. If only the council didn't treat him the way they did, he would have been a fine Jedi. He had the potential, and he was a fine force wielder when he was loved and cared for. He never had hate around Padme. But when he was around the council he was filled with a cold anger.

My warm welcome reminded him, I did care for him. And that was the truth. Anakin was the one person I truly cared about now. I didn't worry about Qui Gon or Satine, I knew they were fine. We started to walk.

"Your going to need me on this one Master" Anakin said calmly.

"Oh I agree, however it may just turn out to be a wild Bantha Chase" I replied wittily.

I wanted to raise his spirits a little. And what I said was true, I might get there and Grevious wouldn't be there at all.

"Master" Anakin said softly. His voice was calm and his presences was gentle.

I stopped and turned to face him.

"I have disappointed you. I haven't been very appreciative of your training."

This is not what I felt at all. I was proud of Anakin. It wasn't his fault he was under so much stress. He could be such a good Jedi, if people just supported him and comforted him. I didn't think he was unappreciative, he was just frustrated.

But I didn't say anything, I quietly listened and nodded.

"I have been arrogant...and I apologize. I have just been so frustrated with the council" Anakin said sincerely.

I felt a warm smile grow across my face. This was the happiest I had been in a long time. This would have been a great ending to our wonderful friendship. It was such a kind hearted warm conversation, I thought it would have been a great way to leave things. Anakin had grown so much, and I was certain he would become a great Jedi Master.

"You are strong and wise Anakin, and I am very proud of you. I have trained you since you were a small boy, I have taught you everything I know."

Everyone of these words I said was true. Anakin had a warm feeling, there was no hate or anger to be found.

"And you have become a far greater Jedi then I have ever hoped to be. "

Anakin looked down, he was almost embarrassed. But he was pleased.

"But be patient Anakin...it will not be long before the Council makes you a Jedi Master."

I said these words lovingly to my dear friend. I really did believe he was going to become a great Jedi Master. I thought I would die on this mission. I thought Anakin would deal with this, the war would end, and Anakin would become a successful Jedi Master.

I knew I had to go. It wasn't painful leaving, I would always be with Anakin. Anakin was smiled and nodded goodbye.I smiled at him, nodded, and turned around to leave. This would have been a happy ending for me.

"Obi Wan" I heard Anakin say warmly. I turned around to face my beloved pupil.

"May the force be with you" is what his last words were to me.

"Goodbye old friend...May the Force be with you."

I turned around and left.

That was the last time I spoke to Anakin. That was the last time I saw Anakin. I thought I would perish, that I would die. But I survived, I lived to fight another day. Anakin was the one who fell. Anakin was killed, by the Sith Lord...Darth Vader. And I was helpless against what happened. I was heartbroken, but helpless...


	16. Chapter 16

**OMG I am soooooooo sorry about how long it has taken to write this chapter. I have been so busy with school and projects so again soooooo sorry. I hope no one has like gave up on the story, but I'm back and will be trying to update more than I have been. Please comment and favorite :) **

**enjoy **

My duel with Grevious had really no impact on my life, it was what happened afterwards that changed me forever.

We arrived on Utapau, I found out Grevious was there. I wasn't nervous or scared. The people of Utapau lent me a mount. I found a very reliable lovely animal. Her name was Boga. She was so loyal, she is half the reason I did succeed.

I found Grevious, he wasn't too hard to find, I snuck up on him and challenged him to a duel. He accepted with pleasure. He had four lightsabers, I had one, but my faithful blue blade helped me bring down the monster.

I fought with strength, with courage, with honor. I gave myself to the force, it aided me. It strengthened me. I twirled my lightsaber gracefully in my hand. Grevious was violent, lashing at me aggressively. My every move was connected to the force, and was swift and smooth.

Grevious's clunky and aggressive ways were no match compared to the force. I easily took him down. He attempted to scamper away in fear, but my faithful Boga kept up with him.

In the end I blasted him. His gut sack bursted into flames. The furious fire devoured the pitiful being. He burned up in a flaming fury. I got up. Threw the gun to the side and walked away. I needed to get back to Corosuant. I had no idea why, but I felt as if the force itself was saying "you need to go back."

During the long chase with Grevious I had dropped by lightsaber. I ran down to Cody, my clone commander. He gave me the update on how our troops were. I could have cared less, the force was raging. It was constantly telling me "look out...go back to Corosaunt...watch out..."

I didn't know what to make of these troubling feelings. Cody gave me my lightsaber. I thanked him and ran off. I was planning on helping the struggling troops and then leaving. It was when I was running up the rocky slope that it happened. The force gave a violent shake, a warning.

Suddenly the ground exploded below me. I deactivated my saber as I tumbled off Boga. She called out in terror. My world spun around me rapidly. I fell. I saw Boga falling with me. We fell far down into the water below.

The water was cold and painful. The force was breaking. My head spun, there was no light. I panicked. I couldn't find any light. I felt around, but everything was dark. The darkness was surrounding me. There was no escape.

While I was in the cold blacks water I could feel horrible things. The force was shattering. I could hear screams of millions. I could almost feel strong powerful souls leaving. I felt pain. I felt horror. It was like the visions I had, of the galaxy being drained of lightness and good.

I swam up to the surface. My body in pain from the shattering of the force. I felt betrayal in the air. I never found out what happened to Boga. I climbed out of the water. I was drained of my strength, the force was not with me. I shook all over. I was cold, I was alone.

I couldn't feel the lightness of the force. I couldn't feel where my master and love were. I was confused and in pain. I finally got out of the hole. It took awhile, but I got out.

I didn't let anyone see me. Ever without the force, I knew I was in danger. I crept to the nearest ship I could find. While getting to a ship I overheard my fellow clones.

"Did you find Kenobi" a trooper asked.

"Sir no could have survived that fall" another trooper replied.

Think again traitors, was all I could think. My troopers were against me. The republic military was against me. The Republic itself was now against me. I was lost. I had no where to go. I ran. Like a coward I ran. I got off that planet. I called out for help.

It wasn't a Jedi that saved my life, but a senator. Bail Organa, he found and contacted me. I am forever grateful of what Bail did for me. My mind was clouded with blackness, I couldn't think. I was no longer a Jedi General of the Republic.

As Jedi we are suppose to use the force to know what to do. The Jedi are powerful, intelligent, they can fix anything, they can solve any problem. But I couldn't. I couldn't plan out a smart plan or anything. I was lost.

Many say the Jedi are nothing without the force. It wasn't just the absences of the force that weakened me, but it was the dark. That was my weakness. I could survive the deadliest of battles, but I can't block the dark. None of us could. It snuck up on us. Like a predator, the darkness crept up and attacked.

The Jedi were no longer worriers or peacekeepers. We were no longer knights or masters. We were prey. Like helpless animals we ran. We fled. Like a terrible beast the darkness stalked us. And we were helpless.

I was flying away from Utapau. That horrible planet were everything shattered. I was alone. I had no idea what to do, I had no where to go. As I was frantically flying the ship when a transmission came in. I didn't know what to think of the blue form of the senator.

"Master Kenobi" he said.

"Senator Organa...my clone troopers have turned on me I need help" I said desperately.

"We have just rescued master Yoda, it appears this ambush has happened everywhere" he said.

I felt a twinge of hope when I heard Yoda was ok. Yet a haunting feeling of darkness crept over me. I could almost just imagine Jedi being shot down by clones. We thought they were our loyal army, but they were just tools. We all were just tools.

I took just a small brief moment to bow my head, thinking of those who had died. Even though it was horrible enough to think clones did this on their own, I wanted to think that. I wanted to think that this was only caused by clones. But I knew that wasn't true. I knew this was something much bigger, something that would crush us with no mercy.

Bail Organa sent me his coordinates and I boarded his ship. I felt a surge of warmth fall over me. It was such a relief to be around such lightness. I almost smiled when Yoda came to meet me, but I didn't. I was still thinking of all the innocents who have been slaughtered.

Instead I looked at Yoda's pained face, I could sense he was thinking about so much, but he didn't say anything.

My eyes met Yoda's and shook my head slightly as I said "Why...why is this happening."

My voice was desperate, I was desperately pleading to my master. I needed to know, my mind was racing so fast, I couldn't think. Yoda could sense my anxiety and confusion.

"Know who has done this, I do not. Know more information Bail does have."

Yoda said this seriously, his voice intense. I wanted my master to be able to explain it all. All my life, Yoda always had an answer. Now, the great master who always had an answer was in a cloud of confusion. All I had learned throughout my life, everything I knew...was shattering.

I thought the clones were our loyal soldiers, and now they were attempting to murder us. I thought Master Yoda was educated on what is happening, and now he is just as uneducated as I was. I thought the force would always be with me, and now it was gone. Darkness surrounded everything, the galaxy was being devoured by evil. But even with the force gone I wasn't broken, I was weakened. The force gives a Jedi it's power, but it's not the Jedi's life source. I was still alive, breathing, and fighting. I was ready to fight for what I had believed in my whole life, even if it meant loosing everything dear and close to me.

And that's what happened to me in the end. I stayed true to what I believed in, I never strayed from my commitment to the light. But I lost everything because I fought for my beliefs.


	17. Chapter 17

**Ok so mad at my iPad! I was typing this big long summary thing annot crashed and its all gone! UgH! Well long sTory short I'm gonna post chapters a lot more often. Please comment! Oh and check out my YouTube video I made for this Fanfict. Just look for the link that says 3 tears in a lifetime above It. i hope you enjoy! **

The room was very cold, but the lightness of Yoda and Bail made it seem like the warmest place ever. Yoda was at my heels, and I walked steadily into the room. Even though I was no older than 35 years I felt so elderly, I felt my knees would buckle beneath me. As the force escaped me, so did my youth and strength. I sat down in a the chair between the senator and Yoda. I could sense the senator's grief, and prepared myself for the worst.

"Masters...we have received word that the Jedi Temple has been attacked" Bail said.

My world shattered all over again, but I stood tall. My eyes were filled with pain, but I didn't break down and cry. I could feel with each passing hour that the galaxy was plummeting into the mouth of a horrid dark beast.

"We need to get back, help the remaining Jedi" I stated.

It took everything I had to hide my emotions when I spoke. But my voice wasn't hoarse or broken when I talked. I spoke with a professional tone, I didn't want to cause anymore ruckus.

Bail looked down, I could see he was fighting back tears.

"Master Kenobi...there is no one left...everyone in the temple was killed."

It took a minute for me to comprehend everything...everyone! No! There had to be survivors. Mace? Kit Fisto? The younglings and Padawans? No! There was no way all of them were gone, there had to be someone left. There had to be!

Then it struck me...Anakin...he was at the temple. I closed my eyes tight and put my head in my hands. I didn't cry...I couldn't. I was too exhausted to shed a single tear. I shook my head violently in denial, Anakin couldn't have been killed. It wasn't possible.

Yoda could sense my breakdown, he didn't scold or comfort me.

I inhaled deeply and sat up. My head and world were shattering. Everything was a blurry mess, I couldn't think or see. I got out of my chair and nearly fell. I regained my footing.

"Excuse me Senator" I stated, my voice cracking.

"Of course Master Kenobi" Bail said gently.

I staggered out of the room and sat down on a bench not too far away. I was alone. I bit my lip and fought back tears. My head slipped back into my hands. I ran my trembling fingers through my hair. My whole body trembled violently. I was cold, the force was absent and I was alone.

I couldn't dive into the force and release my feelings and pain. Instead it was all locked up inside me. I couldn't feel the comforting feeling the warmth and strength of my Master. I couldn't feel the everlasting love from my dear Satine. I couldn't feel Anakin...

I had been through it all, there was no reason for me to quit now. After all my years of fighting I had lost everything, except myself. Everyone dear and close to me is at peace, so I will fight. Go ahead, shoot me down...but I will not fall. I have lost my father, my dear lover, and now my brother. There is nothing more you can take from me. I will fight for them until the end.

I have come this far with everything I believed in, I have lost so much. I won't let my years of battling my beliefs go to waste. Even if I am the last Jedi alive, I will never loose sight of my beliefs.

With my head still in my hands I folded my hands together. I tightly closed my eyes and tried to release all my love into the force, even thought there was no force to release it into.

"Anakin...wherever you are my dear friend I want you to know I am so proud of you, and forever will be. I promise to fight until the end, for both of us. Until we meet again...goodbye my old friend."

That was all I could manage to say. I was weak, I should have said more.I sat up. I now understood that my life was not going to be happy, but that didn't matter anymore. My story is a tragic one, but I don't pity myself. I stood up. I wasn't wobbly anymore, I was going to be strong. I would swing my lightsaber gracefully and strongly for my master. I would never hate or show anger for my love. I would fight everyday for the rest of my life for Anakin.

The door to the room opened and Yoda and Bail came out. Bail seemed to pity me, but he didn't need to. Yoda stared at me with caring yet serious eyes. I nodded my head gently and stood up.

"Going to Coruscant we are, find the source of this betrayal we will" Yoda said confidently.

"Who attacked the Temple" I asked, my voice no longer hoarse or broken.

"Clones...thousands of them" Bail replied to me.

I nodded my head and continued to walk.

We got to the cockpit and Bail set a course to Coruscant. I was seated in a chair near the back of the cockpit, Yoda was beside me. We jumped into lightspeed.

Yoda leaned close to me and whispered ever so softly.

"Proud of you I am, master Kenobi."

I shook my head and replied "there is nothing to be proud of...I don't deserve your recognition, the fallen Jedi do...they are the brave ones."

Yoda listened quietly as I continued

"Many Jedi, braver and stronger than me have become one with the force. I survived but not because of my skills, but luck" I said truthfully.

"Master Kenobi, there is no luck...only the force. The will of the force it was that you survived" Yoda said.

I listened very quietly, though I wanted to argue with the Jedi Master.

"Proud I am not about your survival...but about how handling everything. You are a wonderful Jedi, you have always been."

I felt a warm feeling grow inside me. Even though my world was shattering into a pit of darkness, Yoda's words pulled me out of my slope just a bit.

Yoda placed his hand on my shoulder and looked at me sincerely.

"Easy this will not be, for either of us...but glad I am to have such a Jedi by my side" Yoda said.

I nodded, feeling so great full to the old Jedi master. I never knew he acknowledged me so much. I bowed my head respectively to him.

I felt his hands push my head up as he said "no need to bow, in the force equal we are. "

I wanted to deny him, but I couldn't. I knew in my heart I wasn't equal to Yoda, but I didn't want to cause any anger or frustration. That was the last thing the galaxy needed was more frustration.

"Kenobi...loved you the boy did, and through the force continue to love you he will" Yoda said finally.

"I know master, and through his love will I fight each and everyday for what is right" I replied

"Know that I do" he said and turned away quietly.

My heart was broken, my soul beaten. I was diminished of any physical strength and the force was no where to be found. I was pale and skinny, my weak body trembled throughout the night. But I didn't care. I felt no physical pain anymore, for my mental pain overpowered everything.

But through all my weakness I survived...I survived to spend years regretting my choices in life. I survived...but I would have much rather become one with the force. At least in the force I could have been with my Master and Satine. I wouldn't be alone in the force, but I did survive. And I spent 20 long years alone.


	18. Chapter 18

**Ok this chapter is a bit long and its really late so I'm not going to edit it tonight (don't worry I will edit it later, I'm just sooooo tired)! I wanted to get this up though, so yah. Now I kinda added some stuff and background knowledge in...I hope people like it! Again please comment your ideas and thoughts (remember I didn't edit it tonight so yah...) And please watch my YouTube video for this story. Hope you like the chapter! **

I was sitting in a room, on the ship...alone. I was meditating, deep into the force. Though the force was lacking, I still dove into as much I could grasp. Through the clouding overpowering force of evil, I found light. I invested my soul into the light, and in return I got sensation. I no longer felt the small bond I had between many of the masters. Ki Adi Mundi's presence was absent along with master Plo Koon, Kit Fisto, Saesee Tiin, and so many more.

With each passing soul this world became darker and darker. The galaxy was being drained of lightness. I wasn't able to wrap my mind around it at first, but I couldn't be weak now. Each second millions of innocents were being slaughtered. I couldn't deny it anymore, there wasn't time for that.

As hundreds of Jedi became one with the force, I sat there. I wasn't grieving anymore. I wasn't worried for myself. As each Jedi was released from their shell that was their body, I dove into light. I know accepted that I couldn't help the Jedi who were already dead, I needed to focus on the living.

I didn't plan my survival, I was ready to battle at any moment. When I did have to fight, I wasn't worried about myself. I would accept if I was shot down, if the force willed it. But I wasn't going to give up life, I couldn't. Others had been so strong, I needed to love and fight for them.

When my time came, I would smile and embrace the warmth of the force. But until then, I would live every moment of my life fighting. Fighting for the code others had died believing in. It wasn't about me...it was about others. I had suffered, and would continue to suffer. Nothing would change that. But I could stop others from suffering.

I would fight for the remaining good in this galaxy, I knew there was some. I didn't care if I died or survived. I would never truly be happy until I did join the force, nothing could save that. But when I did join the force I would be embraced by my master, love, and Anakin. I smiled thinking of Anakin. He may have not destroyed the Sith, but he wouldn't have to suffer in these dark times.

I got up. We were getting closer to Coruscant and I wanted to see what the plan was. I sat next to Yoda in the cockpit. He didn't seem to be any different from the last time I saw him.

"Hope got a decent amount of rest you did" Yoda said.

"I'm fine...the force is all I need. Even if I was fully rested, I would feel no better. But it doesn't matter" was all I responded back.

Yoda nodded slightly.

Bail got a transmission from one of the Chancellors henchmen. He requested Bail for a special session in the senate. I didn't care too much about it, politicians never meant much to me. The Jedi didn't have any politics and neither did the force.

As we entered the Coruscant atmosphere I sensed so much darkness. It hit me like someone had just kicked me in the head. I clutched my head and shook it hard. It was such a familiar darkness, it haunted and taunted me.

It was when I saw the temple that I knew this was never going to end. This day would haunt me for my entire existence. I wanted to cry. I wanted to fall on my knees and sob. But I didn't. It would be disrespectful to the fallen Jedi. I had to stay strong for them. For I had devoted myself to the force, and within me lived the force. If I was weak, the force would be weak too. I carried the burden of the force with me. It would be selfish for me to fall, for if I was to fall the force would fall with me.

It was difficult to fight the clones. The soldiers who sacrificed their lives for us countless times were attempting to shoot us down. I didn't want to kill them, but there was no time for thinking. It was kill or be killed. I couldn't just fall because I was too weak to fight the clones

With each twist and turn of my lightsaber I thought. I thought of all the fallen. I didn't think of myself once. If it was the will of the force that I should accept the burden of fighting for the Jedi, I would. I would fight for the force until the very end. I didn't fight for my own life, but for others.

My vibrant blue blade had tacked so many lives that day, I just hoped it saved some as well. Why did I survive? Thousands of Jedi had been killed, yet I survived. I kept surviving. The force was diminished, or was it. The force was not gone, but within me, and Yoda.

The millions of Jedi were in the force. Millions of strong souls were within us, fighting. The force was gone from the galaxy, but not gone from us. The force had latched onto me and Yoda, we were carriers of the force. It wasn't just me who was fighting, but millions of others.

We found many bodies. I was on the brink of tears. It was one thing to be strong when in battle. In battle the only life at risk was yours. But it was a completely different thing when you had to be strong with millions slaughtered. Innocent children lay, motionless at my feet. I had saw many masters who had raised me and strengthened me, dead.

There was no one left. Not a single survivor. The Jedi were the most powerful beings in the galaxy, and now we were all but extinct. How? How could this have happened.

Me and Yoda wondered through the temple halls, hoping to find one Jedi alive. We found none. Old Jedi, Young Jedi, masters, knights, Padawans, and younglings. All dead.

We were finally coming to terms with that there was no survivors when we saw a group of children. It had broken my heart. I knew at least half of them, some were very talented young Jedi. They looked up to me, as if I was there hero.

I was no hero. I didn't save them or any other Jedi that day. Their cold bodies, motionless and fragile. One in particular I knew very closely...

* * *

It had been when I had retuned from Kadavo, I was beaten and tired. Thought I tried not to let it show, but i had never been in such physical pain before. Many innocents had died on Kadavo, I couldn't save them. I tried, but I couldn't. I had my elbows on my knees and I was slouched over. I was in deep thought, I couldn't get all the suffering and pain I had witnessed out of my head.

I then saw a ship land in a nearby landing platform. Soon about 8 younglings sprang out all with gleaming crystals in their hands. They all rushed to the youngling apartments so eager to construct their lightsabers. I smiled, I still remember the day I had returned from the ice planet with my crystal.

Each youngling ran past me, and I watched as they ran off to their room. It was only seconds later when I saw a young boy staring at me. He stopped running and walked over to me. I looked puzzled at him and asked in a raspy voice

"Why aren't you going with your friends, you want to build your lightsaber don't you?"

He just looked at me, his blue eyes examining me. He cocked his head slightly and shrugged his shoulders. I smiled, but he didn't smile back. He just looked at me, his eyes full of concern.

He went up and sat next to me. He looked at me, horror filled his eyes. He then asked very quietly

"What happened to you?"

I then realized that he was observing my scars and bruises I had got from being in slavery. I patted his shoulder softly and smiled warmly.

"War hasn't been to kind to me...but I'm ok" I said warmly, my voice still raspy.

As I talked the boy seemed to wince, he felt bad for me. It was a weird feeling. Though I never sought out attention or sympathy no one had ever showed any real pity for me. I knew the boy was strong in the force, he could probably feel my pain.

The boy then laid a hand on my shoulder and said "do you need any help?"

This boy was so mature, it surprised me. All the other younglings had ran by me, without even stopping. This boy, he knew I was suffering...which I was. My leg was stiff and sprained. My body was covered from head to toe with deep gashes.

I shook my head, but the intelligent boy saw past my lie. He didn't know what to do for me, but I saw he wanted to help me. I looked him in the eye and said quietly

"Well...I wouldn't mind some company. Would you like to come to my room for a bit."

The boy nodded his head rapidly. I could tell no Jedi master had paid much attention to the boy, but I saw him as such a talented kid.

We got back to my room and I sat down. I was so very tired. The boy saw my lightsaber and his face was filled with guilt. I picked up on this and leaned close to the boy.

"Are you ok" I asked gently?

"Yes...well...do you...can...can you help me" the boy pleaded.

I nodded my head softly and the boy explained.

"I can't build my lightsaber" he stated guilt-fully.

I smiled, I was immediately remained of how I struggled to build my first lightsaber and how I was the last youngling of my group to finish mine.

"Well...that just means your will be better than the others" I stated.

The boy looked at me, confused.

"How" he asked.

"Well, the others don't have a personal Jedi tutor, do they" I said playfully.

A smile beamed across the boys face.

"You mean, your gonna show me how to make it" he asked excitedly.

"Well, I will give you some guidance that you can feed off of. Without guidance, knowledge is nothing...but you also need to learn from my teachings."

The boy nodded, he was a committed Young Jedi, and I knew he could do it.

He pulled out all his lightsaber parts from his bag, and I got him to sit down next to the parts.

With a grunt of pain I sat next to him. He looked up, concerned for me. I just shook my head as if to say "don't worry."

I placed a calm gentle hand on his tiny shoulder.

"Devote yourself to the force...embrace it...welcome it...let your personalities flow into the force...let your soul welcome the force" I whispered.

As I said these words I saw parts of the lightsaber come together. Soon after a long session of careful concentration and patience a lightsaber was in the palm of the boys hand.

I had never seen such a beautiful lightsaber in my life. It was constructed out of passion and love. The boy beamed at me, his blue eyes twinkling.

"What a fine lightsaber...go ahead light it up" I encouraged.

The boy was hesitant for a moment, and then his fingers met the trigger.

The a beam of light shot out of the handle that was just constructed. The beam was the brilliant radiant color of the sky. The blade was a deep sapphire blue...just like mine.

I smiled and lit up mine. The boy smiled.

We both powered down out sabers, and I gently walked him to the door. I was sure the boy would grow to be a fine Jedi knight. He remained me so much of myself, when I was younger.

Before he left the boy hugged me. I felt the big had such a deep trust and compassion for me. I patted him lightly and said softly

"What's your name young one?"

"I'm Ben...what's yours?"

"Obi Wan."

I think the youngling finally realized he was actually meeting The negotiator. His mouth almost dropped when he heard my name.

"Your The Obi Wan Kenobi" young Ben said overwhelmed.

He immediately bowed at my knees.

I simply shook my head and said

"no need to bow...someday I bet I will be bowing to you young one."

Ben smiled and said finally

'Thank you so much Master Kenobi...and May the force be with you."

"Thank you Ben for you nice company...and may the force be with you" was what I said back to the young Jedi.

* * *

I was now bowing, by the young Jedi's side. My hand stroked the boy's brown hair. I held back my tears. All these young Jedi had so much potential, but their future was ruined. Yoda didn't say anything as I mourned the young boy.

I saw his lightsaber, the one I helped him create laying inches away from his cold lifeless body. I picked it up and tucked it in my robes. I sensed Ben's lighthearted presences was long gone. I closed my eyes for a moment to remember Ben, to remember all the young Jedi.

I stood up, I had to keep fighting. I had to figure out who was behind all of this. I looked to Yoda, my eyes full of pain. Yoda's ears dropped he looked at Ben and said to me

"This Padawan, struck down by a lightsaber was he."

I didn't even notice that, but as I looked closer I saw the unmistakeable burns from a lightsaber. There were burning gashes in all the younglings bodies. My head spun, I couldn't think.

"Who...who could have done this" I asked Yoda. My voice was soft and full of pain. This was something much more larger and disastrous than we could have possible imagined.

And this was only the beginning of it


	19. Chapter 19

**Alright this chapter is shorter, but I am getting closer to the big breakdown (on Mustafar). I updated my profile so go check it out :). As always please leave comments on what you liked, didn't like, and what to see more of. I will listen to all of your opinions, so please do comment. Enjoy! **

We passed by so many dead Jedi. Yoda was just as devastated as I was, but he never showed it. I could feel my face tighten up with grief when we passed more bodies. Yoda never scolded me for my emotions though.

In one of my hands I held my lightsaber, in the other hand I held the poor young Padawan's lightsaber. As we walked down the dark and lifeless halls I didn't think of anything. My mind was a blank slate, for to think would be to painful.

We found the communications room, there we sent out a code to all the remaining Jedi, to warn them not to fall into this trap. I was relieved to finally do some good. All I had done today was kill.

I would remember all my Jedi companions and friends. But I couldn't grieve for them now. I would have time later to say goodbye, but now I needed to focus on actually saving someone.

I felt guilty. With each body we saw, my heart pained with guilt. All my life I had been the hero, I had valiantly saved millions of people's lives. Now I couldn't save one Jedi. I wasn't ever going to be a hero again. I would never be a Jedi General of the Republic again. I would never be happy again.

All my life I had lived so honorably. Now my honor was crushed into nothing. Life is not easy. Everyone wants love and honor, and most people can easily have it. Most people fall in love, get married, and live happily for the rest of their lives. But Not me.

I did fall in love, but my love was ripped away from me, by war. We found each other again, through the blackness we found each other. My love was brutally slaughtered before my eyes.

We never got married. I never strode up to her with a glistening ring in my hand. But we loved each other just as much as any married couple. We had duties, and although we didn't have too much time together...we still loved each other.

Most people grow up with their loving parents always there to protect them. As a Jedi, you don't have parents. I don't remember my real parents. I don't remember if I have any sisters or brothers. The only real parental figure I had died in my arms 15 years ago.

Most people have children that they love so much. I didn't have any children, I was a Jedi. Though I did have Anakin, who was very much a son to me. The last 15 years of my life had been spent each and everyday with Anakin. And now he was gone too.

I had nothing left to loose. I didn't choose to devote my life to the Jedi, but I did. I always would. Though if I never was a Jedi, my life would not have been so devastating. But how could I think like this, I was a Jedi...and to ponder about my own life was ridiculous.

We never found Anakin's body, but I knew he was gone. I could no longer sense him in the force. Anakin had escaped from this miserable world. Anakin could rest peacefully in the force was what I thought. I was wrong though, Anakin was not at peace...he had suffered a fate worse than death.

It was when we were leaving the communications room that I saw the security cameras. The saber gashes in the younglings bodies had horrified me. I had the chance to see who was really behind this. I strode over to it, my stomach tight with worry.

I didn't want to know who it was, but I had to. Yoda didn't go over to reveal the truth, I did. My emotions were broken, my spirit shattered. What more harm could be done to me mentally.

"If into the security cameras you go, only pain will you find" said Yoda cautiously.

I didn't care if it pained me to see who it was. I needed to see the truth, I had already been in enough pain to last a lifetime. Nothing could possibly be worse than what I had been experiencing. What could be worse than your entire community, family, order, religion, becoming extinct.

"I must find the truth master" I said assertively.

My fingers fumbled the cold buttons. Blurry blue holograms appeared as I rewound the tape. I felt so much sadness in Yoda, but I was convinced I would be strong.

But what I saw was the most painful thing I had seen in my life. What I saw was more painful than seeing my master get stabbed. It was more painful than feeling the life leak out of Satine. It was more painful than seeing thousands of my comrades dead. It was more painful than feeling the entire force itself collapse, leaving me in the dark.

My emotions were then maimed and my heart seemed to plunge into blackness. My head spun so fast I couldn't see, my breath increased rapidly.

My knees buckled beneath me, and I tumbled to the ground. With a hard thump my world went black.


	20. Chapter 20

**Yah chapter 20! Thanks to everyone who has stuck with this sTory for this long, it means a lot to me. Check out my YouTube video for this story, and comment what you enjoyed, didn't enjoy, what you want to see etc. If you have an Instagram you can follow me at instaforce17. This chapter was kinda short...but I hope you enjoy it.**

The cold floor chilled me to then bone. I couldn't feel anything, I was surrounded by darkness. I couldn't get up. My world collapsed right in front of me. My hopes, dreams, and happiness died that day.

I had once been a hopeful young man...I was no longer that

My life seemed to flash before my eyes. I remember when I was actually happy, so long ago. When I had not lost any of those dear to me. When I thought the Jedi were indestructible. When I was nothing but a humble pupil.

My master came and went. Blackness came, and so did Anakin. I saw us, as Anakin and I aged together. I relived memories of all our battles. I saw the first and second battle for Geonosis. I saw Ashoka and my love come and go. I saw the battle of

Coruscant as me and Anakin saved Palaptines life.

We had fought so hard, and for so many years. These memories hurt more than any blast or cut. These memories ripped me to the core. In my heart I cried, I sobbed for what seemed to be hours.

After all I had fought for, I had lost. Even after my master fell, I fought for Anakin. Even after my love perished, I fought for Anakin. Even when every Jedi died and the force itself collapsed into nothing, I fought for Anakin. And now, Anakin was gone. He had fallen so deep that nothing could save him.

Now I wished Anakin had died. I wish he was at peace within the force, but he wasn't. He was no were near peace. After all of our bonding, training, and growth...how could he do this. I couldn't understand, my head collapsed inside itself.

I woke up on the cold hard floor. I hadn't been out long, but I did faint. Overwhelming heartbreak and stress can effect even Jedi. The images I had seemed haunted me. I couldn't get visions of Anakin, my best most trusted friend, killing Jedi out of my head.

He slaughtered them, he didn't show a drop of mercy. Was I blind, maybe all Mace had said was true. Did my feelings blind me from the darkness within Anakin. But how can a father accept when their own son has fallen from grace.

Memories. Horrible memories played in my mind. Screams, Pain, and Death. I couldn't except reality. My heart told me, no...Anakin wouldn't do this, he is the chosen one. But reality slapped me in the face, but did I accept the punch?

Part of me had hope. Part of me had a twinkle of hope buried deep within me. Anakin wasn't evil. He may not be pure good, but no one is. There is still hope was all I could think.

This spark of hope is what kept me going, it's what gave me strength to get up. I rose to my feet, I wobbled and rocked as I stood up. I could save him. That's what I kept saying in my head. I can do it, I have to do it.

If Palpatine could turn him to the dark, who's to say I can't turn him back to the light. I had to try, for Anakin. I couldn't just leave him to suffer this horrible fate, I had to help him. Maybe Yoda would agree, maybe he would help me.

As I gained my footing Yoda glared at me. With each passing minute, that bright hope I had grew darker. I could sense Yoda was very depressed, but not for himself...for me. He stared at me and said in a pained voice,

"Destroy the Sith we must".

I looked at him. My eyes widening at what he was saying. No, Yoda can't be giving up on Anakin yet. Not yet, there has to be hope.

But there was no hope in Yoda's eyes, only sadness. I knew I wouldn't persuade the Jedi master, but neither the less, I would refuse to kill Anakin.

I walked up to Yoda slowly, I looked at him, desperation and agony in my eyes.

"Send me to kill the emperor...I will not kill Anakin."

I said this assertively, but my voice cracked with grief. Anakin was family to me, the only type of family I had left. I had to help him, and killing him wasn't the way. I had to bring out the good in him, I knew there was good in him.

"To fight this lord sidious, strong enough..you are not" Yoda said, his voice filled with pain.

I can be strong enough, I can fight this evil lord, but I can't fight Anakin. I won't fight him...he'll turn back, I know he will.

"He is like my brother, I cannot do it" I pleaded to the master.

Anakin isn't gone yet, not yet. I won't fight him, and he won't fight me. Anakin isn't gone yet. That was all I could think to keep myself sane.

"Twisted by the dark side, young Skywalkerhas become. The boy you trained, gone he is. Consumed by Darth Vader" Yoda stated coldly.

No he isn't gone...I couldn't believe Yoda. He was loosing hope in Anakin so quickly. How could Yoda loose hope, was it foolish of me to have hope. My head spun as my world turned upside down.

I sighed at said frustrated,

"I don't know where the emperor has sent him...I don't know where to look."

Yoda smirked at me and wittily replied,

"Use your feelings Obi Wan, and find him you will."

I watched as he walked put of the room. What have I done? I should have trained Anakin better, I should have been more loving and patient with him. I should have stuck up for him.

Once I could sense Yoda's presence was gone, I closed my eyes and rubbed my head. I whispered ever so slightly into the force

"Oh Anakin...what have you done."

I knew what I had to do, but it pained me to think of it. I knew who I had to ask, but I didn't want to. I didn't want to see anyone else's life get ruined. But I had to think of Anakin. There was a chance I could do something. But I Yoda was very right, I had to confront him. I couldn't hide from it.

Vader had to die. I couldn't let him destroy what was left of the force and the galaxy. I had a duty, to all the fallen Jedi, to keep the peace. I didn't want to confront Anakin. I wished Anakin was dead, but he wasn't. As much as I didn't want to battle my best friend, I had to do something.

I walked towards a Jedi speeder, my pace was quick and steady. My emotions battled within me. My heart wasn't where my head was. I was shattering. But the only thing that was on my mind was Anakin...


	21. Chapter 21

**Sorry it took awhile to get this up. I hope you like it. Ps what did everyone think of the Clone Wars season finale. I thought it was really sad what happened to Ashoka. I hope we see what happens to her in future seasons. So comment if you enjoy, and don't forget to check out my YouTube video for this story. **

I could sense Padme's depression from here. Of course she would be against Palpatine's power hungry ways. She was upset, troubled, broken. I didn't want to do it. I would shatter her, another pound of guilt would be added to my life.

I blame myself for her death. I blame myself for everyone's death. All the Jedi, the republic, the peace, Anakin. In those last hours of the clone wars, I had gone against everything I knew. I had gone against my own Philosophy and beliefs. My own happiness had died in those days.

I pulled up to her balcony. I could sense Anakin's presence lingering. He had come to her apartment so much. I took a deep breath and blinked back my tears. Just feeling Anakin's presence remained me of what the future could hold. Anakin's gold protocol droid came shuffling out. I had my hood up, to his my identity. I was an outlaw now, everyone with a pure heart was.

"Oh my Master Kenobi-"

I gestured my hand to quiet him. He stopped talking right away.

" 3po...is Padme here" I whispered.

"Why yes...please do come in" he said back.

I followed the gold droid in. My stomach was tight with guilt, my head pounding with grief. C3po told me to wait until be got her. I was on the cold and lonely couch. I could sense Anakin, which only added to my grief. I could sense Anakin's happiness. This place was the only place where Anakin truly was happy, with his wife.

We all used to be happy, optimistic people. We used to enjoy visiting each other. Now I was dreading seeing Padme. I didn't want to hurt her. I didn't want to ruin her life completely. But I had too. If I didn't, any drop of hope would be lost...and Anakin would cause much more harm to her.

A door opened and she walked out. She was very pregnant, but at the same time skinny. Her face was hollow like, her arms weak and feeble. Her skin had an unhealthy grey hue to it.

Thought she looked completely worn out, she got a burst of energy at seeing me. This made me even more ashamed.

"Oh, Obi Wan" she gasped as she ran towards me.

She embraced me in a gentle hug of relief. I patted her shoulder softly and remained completely silent. She had tears in her eyes as she looked up at me.

"Your alive...thank goodness your alive" she cried.

I nodded my head and whispered "yes, I'm ok..."

"What...what has happened to the Jedi, who else made it" she asked.

"As far as I know, only me and Yoda survived. We're trying to help others who are alive though. The republic has fallen Padme..."

"Yes, unfortunately I am well aware of that" she replied.

"Padme...I need to know where Anakin is."

I think the hint of nervousness in my voice alerted her. She stared at me for a minute, and shook her head.

"I don't know...where he is now..." She replied.

I could sense the lie in that statement. She was tense now, I could sense much fear in her. I didn't want her to see me as a threat, but I needed this information. I looked straight into her nervous eyes and said,

"Well, when was the last time you saw him?"

I said this very gently, I was trying my best to calm her down.

She frantically replied "yesterday."

"And you don't know where he is now?" I asked, my voice still calm.

"No" she said, her voice full of fear.

I could sense her becoming more afraid with each passing moment. She walked away from me, her back turned. Oh Padme, I don't want to do this to you...was all I could think. I wanted to say that, but instead I replied,

"Padme, I need your help. He is in great danger."

Her anxiety grew rapidly when hearing this, she spun around and said,

"From the sith?"

I wanted to lie...but I knew if I did it would only cause more harm. Her eyes stared at me, they were full of fear and abuse. I simply replied in a sympathetic voice,

"From himself."

She sighed loudly and gasped

After I said this she gazed at me, confusions and worry surrounded her. I had to do this. Never in my life did I think I would ever hurt someone this way. But I was no longer the Jedi I used to be. My silence was hurting her, I gently grabbed her shoulder.

I avoided her painful eyes for a moment. I looked at her, my eyes full of sadness. I sighed, and said very softly,

"Padme...Anakin has turned to the darkside."

She pushed me away and took many steps away from me. Please force, help her, help her manage this pain, I thought. She wanted to hate me, I didn't blame her.

"Your wrong, how could you even say that" she said, her voice filled with sternness and anger.

Padme had always been a dear friend to me. She had always been so loving and warm-hearted. She had always embraced me with much joy and comfort. And now, she glared at me. She looked at me with anger, hate, discomfort, and disbelief.

I was loosing her too. I wished she was right. I wanted to think I was wrong. But as far as I knew, I wasn't. When I was thinking how to respond to her, all I could see was that haunting memory. The haunting images of my trusted beloved friend slaughtering innocent children. I saw his hate, and their agony. I heard his cruel chuckles and their screams and pleas.

I walked away from her, I couldn't look at her. I couldn't look at the pain I had inflicted. I shakily put my hand on my beard and said with my voice shaky,

"I...have seen a security hologram...of him...killing younglings."

This reality hurt us both. I heard her say "he couldn't" in disbelief.

I needed to tell her flat out what was going on, I couldn't hold back anymore. The only way I could help her was to tell her the whole truth.

"He was deceived by a lie, we all were. It appears the chancellor is behind everything, including the war."

She backed away from me, fear in her eyes. She was afraid, afraid washout what I would say next. One of my best friends now was scared of me.

"Palpatine is the Sith Lord we have been looking for. After the death of count Dooku, Anakin became his new apprentice" I said.

Everything I said pain me, but it pained her more. I already knew all this information, she was getting it all slapped at her now. She didn't know what to think.

She shook her head and said frantically "I don't believe you...I can't."

I would never forgive myself for what I did to her that day. I didn't know what to do for her. I wanted to help her, I wanted to comfort her. But I couldn't. I quietly sat down next to her.

Her breath was rapid and loud. She looked more pale and sickly then when I had first shown up.

"Padme...I must find him"

I have no idea why I said that. I knew she wasn't going to tell me, and I knew it would only hurt her more. It was my hope. That tiny spark of hope within me. There was a little hope left, and I reacted rashly because of that hope.

After I said that she looked at me, her face in disgust about what I said. There was terror in her eyes as she excepted what I was suggesting.

"Your going to kill him, aren't you" she asked horrified.

I couldn't say no, for what if Anakin was truly gone. What if I had no choice. But I could not say yes. I needed to try to help my friend. I simply said,

"He has become a great threat."

"I can't" she gasped.

At that point her pain was so strong I could not do any more. Her pain was overpowering, and I caused it. I could not do this to her anymore. I would remember her suffering for the rest of my existence, and I would never forgive myself for causing it.

I got up. I knew she would not give me the answers I needed. I wasn't mad at her. I sympathized for her. As I looked out on the city's horizon I felt something. Anakin's presence. But it wasn't an old presence, but an alive one.

I looked back at Padme. Where I sensed her living presence I sensed Anakin's. the heartbreaking reality hit me.

"Anakin's the father, isn't he?"

She looked down at her bump, eyes full of sadness. Nothing but pure sadness.

With this I knew the answer. I had never seen anyone so sad before. I could no longer sense any happiness. I could no longer sense her strength or even her will to live.

What have I done? That was the question that haunted me for the rest of my life.


	22. Chapter 22

**Sorry it has taken so long to get this up. I have been really busy so yah! make sure to check out this really beautiful (and sad) music edit of Obi Wan and Satine. The link is on my bio. Its not my vid, I don't take credit, but it's amazing. Hope you enjoy and Happy saint Patricks Day everyone! OMG is anyone else like completely heartbroken that the clone wars is canceled, yah I'm not lying, there will be no season 6:(. anyways enjoy the chapter **

The decision was hard, but I knew I had to do it. Of course I had excepted I was no longer the Jedi I used to be. I never would be. The Jedi that was humbly at Qui Gons side, the Jedi that would never hurt anyone, the Jedi that was honest and true...that was the Jedi I used to be. Of course that was the true me, but the dark devours everything. The dark eats up our purity and goodness. The dark makes us selfish, hateful, greedy, and hurtful.

During these dark times, everyone lost their innocents. Master Yoda no longer thrived on knowledge of the force, but was fighting in a lost battle. Padme no longer spoke strongly of her opinions in the senate, but ran into the lost battle. The clones were no longer by our sides, ready to die for us. No, they prolonged the lost battle. Anakin, my best friend, my brother...fell victim to the hopeless battle.

And I...I brutally slaughtered the clones. I killed the faithful soldiers, that had marched out into battle with me. I no longer searched for the force, I practically gave up. I couldn't feel the comfort of the force, and I didn't do anything. I was unfaithful, and unhonorable.

Was this the will of the force? Was the will of the force to have all the Jedi die, and the galaxy become corrupt and evil? Was evil destined to take over the universe? Was it the will of the force, or someone manipulating the will of the force. But who was I to ponder this now, I had 20 years to do that. I that's exactly what I did in my 20 years on exile...delve into the force for answers. But some questions never get answered.

Right now I had to accept what was going on, and I tried to do that. I'm not sure if I ever succeeded, but I tried my hardest. Though I didn't want to do this, and my head told me not too...my heart told me another thing. I could still save Anakin. And I would go to any limit to save him. As long as I had that ray of hope in me, my spirit was still alive and fighting.

Hope. Hope is the spirit's oxygen. No matter how damaged your body may be, hope will keep you intact. While hope was alive there was light in the galaxy. In my years of exile, I began to think that part of the force was hope. Sure the force was made up of many things, and most of those things are unknown. But, I believed that hope was part of the force itself. Hope kept me alive, and without it the galaxy would never be at balance.

But hope does not always save people. I was rash. I believed that I could save Anakin. My heart told me I could, and at the time I couldn't seek guidance from the force. I don't know if what I did was the right thing, but I could not think of any alternative. As the sun rose over the horizon I waited behind many cargo boxes. The Naboo ship lit up as the suns rays hit it.

I suddenly felt the force. It was attempting to tell me something. Of course I focused myself on it and suddenly I felt...I would never come back to Coruscant again. I accepted this. Though I had spent most of my life on Coruscant, I wasn't worried about letting such a minor aspect like that. I would have to let go of basically my whole life in a couple of hours.

It was wrong of me to do it. I will never forgive myself for doing it. As Padme approached her ship I could sense her desperation. She passed right by me and went into her ship in a hurry. She was drowning in worry and sadness, but I didn't do anything. After C3po went aboard in a hustle I quietly snuck on.

Inside the Naboo ship it was cool. Unlike the warm musty air of Coruscant inside the ship it was clear and cool. It was just like the air on Naboo. For a minute I was transported back to my days on Naboo. When I had no idea what was ahead. When I was cheerful and loved. Before I was alone. When I was happy.

Of course it was the mission on Naboo that changed not just my life, but the fate of the galaxy. That was when my beloved master found Anakin. That was when I came to meet Padme. That was when Maul came into my life, only to terrorize it and haunt me. And that was when Palpatine grasped the republic.

And now he had squeezed the life out of the republic, and made it his empire. To think that it all started on the peaceful planet of Naboo.

I found a compartment, with plenty of room in it. I gently closed the door and sat down on a little bench that was in the compartment. I then sat back and closed my eyes. But I didn't sleep.

I thought. If my hopes were wrong, was I going to be strong enough to do what needed to be done. I thought back to something Maul growled to me. When we were in the heat of a duel he growled out, "You are not that strong Kenobi. You may be a Jedi, but you are weak."

But then I remember my Masters words saying "Obi Wan, you are not weak."

Of course I shouldn't be listing to Maul, but was I strong. Maybe I wasn't, I had no idea of what was going to happen. But whatever did happen, wasn't going to be easy...but was I going to be strong enough?

But there was hope, and wherever there is hope there is the there is the force, there is strength. Hope did not save Qui Gons life, but It saved his spirit. Hope didn't save Satine, but it saved her soul. And Hope didn't save Anakin's life, but it redeemed him.

I opened my eyes, we were nearing wherever Anakin was. But I could not feel Anakin...anywhere. I took a deep breath and whispered into the force "Help him." And with that I straightened my posture and prepared myself, for I knew there was no turning back at this point...and I never did turn back.

I thought my life would be filled with justice, honor, and dignity. I thought I would save people...that I would find meaning and love in this world. I thought my life would be so much different than this nightmare. I thought it would be so much different...


End file.
